The Lost Girl
by addieredd
Summary: 3839 days after Cristina left Seattle she is forced to return to the US for the first time in 10 years. Only one person knows about her life changing secret and has promised to keep it that way. But will secrets really remain secrets?
1. Prologue

_Prologue _

My earliest childhood memory is probably me sitting in an OR gallery watching my mom doing surgery. That's pretty much how I spent my days. Watching my mom saving people's lives. They'd come to her for help from all over the world. It fascinated me, how quick she was. She definitely was an artist. I loved watching her, even though some people said I should be in daycare or someplace else because an OR wasn't a place for a kid to grow up. Uncle Ross always said they were just jealous of my mom. And me. Because there were some procedures I understood better than most med students. Well no wonder, she told them to me as bedtime stories. Most people think it's weird to tell your kid about surgery, all kinds of diseases and clinical trials. Especially clinical trials. She once told me that when I was born, she had barely started her research about 3D bioprinted hearts. She said she only had accomplished to put bioprinted conduits into patients. She always said that if I should ever become a doctor and have a trial I shouldn't have kids. At least not at that point in my life. Not the nicest thing to say to your six year old daughter. I asked why she had me if the start of a world – changing trial wasn't the time to have kids. Then she said, "Honey, you are not a regular kid. You are my kid. Of course your timing was bad little lady, but please believe me that I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. Even if my research would be a lot easier without you." I knew that she didn't mean the last part. I knew her, she sometimes said those things, but she never meant it. Other people weren't as understanding as me though. They'd call her a bad mother and wondered how I was able to live with her. It never bothered me. But I knew it bothered her. She tried, she tried really hard to be a good mother. To be the mother I "deserved" as some people liked to call it. But for me, she was the best mother I could've asked for. In my whole life, there wasn't one day I spent in a daycare. Sure, she always brought me to the hospital with her (I mean it was her hospital she could do whatever she wanted to do) and I'd stay in her office, watch her doing surgeries or play with uncle Ross. She'd spend every free minute with me. And I loved it. Of course I didn't know it any better, but that was my life. And it stayed that way until I started going to school. I went to a very fancy private school close to the hospital. Only then I started to realize that there was more to life than hospitals, surgeries and take – out food. The other kids at school had families. With a mom and a dad (eventually even siblings). I had never had a dad, let alone a brother or a sister. I was actually glad that I had my mom to myself, but I always wondered what had happened to my dad. Of course I wasn't brave enough to ask my mom about him. Men weren't a topic she liked to discuss. In general. The only clues I had regarding my dad was an old picture in her office desk I found once I was waiting for her to pick me up. She had left the drawer open and I could see it from the corner of my eye. It showed her with a tall blonde man. She was wearing a red dress and he wore a suit. They looked very happy, very in love. If the dress hadn't been red but white I would've known that it was their wedding picture. I always wondered if he was my dad. I couldn't really tell just by my looks because the Asian gene had definitely taken overhand. I looked so much like my mother it was almost scary. My dad could've been pretty much everything but black. So I just stuck with my version of the story in which the tall blonde man from the picture was my father but left me and my mom for some reason. I couldn't really be mad at him because I had no idea what had happened before I was born. I just knew that my mom had just moved from Seattle to Zurich and that it had been just the two of us ever since I was born nine months after the move. The only person from her past I had ever met was Shane Ross, who moved to Zurich with her (educational purposes only as she promised me once) and was my frequent babysitter, and Meredith, her best friend who still lived in Seattle with her kids. I never met the kids or the husband (if there even was one I had no idea). Everytime she visited I wanted her to bring her kids because in my opinion, some contact to a person under 30 wouldn't have hurt. But I still liked her. She always brought me gifts and spent time with me when my mom had to work (which was pretty much every day). Work was always very important in our household. School or hospital, a Yang had to achieve greatness in everything. No exceptions. Work was also the reason why we traveled a lot. She always took me with her to her conferences and galas all over the world. I wouldn't admit it now, but I kind of liked the trips. Paris, London, Hong Kong, Vienna, Berlin… I had pretty much seen the whole world by the time I was eight. Except for the USA. For some reason she never took me there. Of course now I know why, but back then I never quite understood why she wouldn't show me her homecountry. All my begging, all my supplication was completely useless. She wouldn't take me to the US. The funny thing was she wouldn't even go by herself. She avoided the States like the plague. Until the day she was nominated for the famous Harper – Avery award for printing a fully functional human heart. She was so excited in a way that would've been appropriate for a person my age (10). Her only problem was that there was no babysitter available except for Meredith and she only offered my mom to drop me off at her place because she couldn't leave Seattle for some reason. So that didn't leave her with a choice. We would both go to the US. I was more than excited. I had no idea that this weekend would change my life. Forever.


	2. Questions

"Mom are you ready? We gotta go or we'll miss the plane! Come on!"

"Be right there sweetie! You definitely didn't get the punctual thingy from me." She smiled. Her daughter looked so much like her, but even though she never met her father, her character was a lot like his. She wasn't messy or late. Ever. She was very ambitious and loved the OR more than any other place in the world. But every now and then, she liked to snuggle up next to her mother and just cuddle a little.

"Oh mom we are late. Again. Why are we always late?"

"We are not late."

"Yeah we are."

"Okay maybe like 5 minutes." She looked at her watch.

"More like 10."

"Okay but that's acceptable right? I mean there were worse times."

They laughed. The little girl curled up next to her mother in the backseat of their cab.

"That is true. You know what? I love you anyway."

"Well I'm glad you love me _anyway._"

"Ha-ha yeah. You're a great mother. Most of the time."

"Wow you're being extra sassy today huh? You want me to leave you at home?"

"It's not like you haven't tried. There's just no one to babysit me."

"True."

"Yeah… But I'm glad there's none you know? I've always wanted to go to the US. I mean that's where you come from. I always wondered why you never took me. Or why you never went?!"

"Well um… It's complicated. When I left I just wanted to start over. New job, new people, new city… Just a new life." She couldn't tell her daughter more even though she knew there was a chance that she'd find out more about her past during the coming weekend. She just couldn't. It broke her heart everytime she thought of the little girl's father.

"So that's why you had me?"

"Yeah. Right. You know what can we not talk about this now? I mean we're in the back of a cab."

"Sure. Can you tell me the plan for the weekend again though? I'd like to know it by heart."

"Of course. Even though I think you can say it in your sleep."

"Tell me again anyway."

"Okay, so we have a direct flight from Zurich to Seattle which is where Aunt Meredith will pick you up. She'll take you to her place where you'll stay until Monday."

"And you'll go from Seattle to Boston right?"

"Right. My flight leaves at noon so I'll have time to walk you out the gate to Meredith. We'll grab a quick coffee together and I'll go back catch the flight to Boston, go to the stupid ceremony thing on Saturday night and hopefully take home my well – earned award and be back in Seattle by Sunday afternoon. I'll go to Meredith's and we'll fly back home Monday night."

"Am I going to meet any of your old friends while we're there?"

"Um… Maybe. We'll see."

"I'd really like to meet the guy on the picture."

"Derek? I'm pretty sure he'll be there he's Mer's husband."

"No. The one on the picture you keep in your office desk."

Cristina felt her heart stop beating for a second.

"H – how did you find this picture?"

"You left it open and I just… I saw it. Is he, I mean was he, your boyfriend?"

"Uh no. He, he was… He was my husband."

"What happened?"

"Could we, uhm, could we not discuss this right now? Maybe later? On the plane or something?!"

"Okay."

Cristina knew that as her daughter was getting older, it was harder to answer her questions satisfyingly. But still, she hoped that she could keep her questions down to a level she could handle. And that was definitely not something she could handle. At least not right now. Not today. Not this weekend.

**A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews I really appreciate them! And yes the prologue wasn't divided up into paragraphs but only because I wanted to show the flow of the girl's thoughts… So anyway this is the second chapter which I typed in a hurry so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. **

**Keep those reviews coming!**


	3. Welcome To Seattle

**A/N: Thank you guys for all the kind reviews! I appreciate them so much. **

**So are we finally going to find out the little girl's name? And how will the Shepherd family handle it all? Read to find out!**

"Mer!"

"Cristina!" The two friends hugged, happy to be in each other's arms again.

"I have to admit it's way more fun to see you in person than just talking over the phone. I've missed you."

"I know. I've missed you too."

"And hey there princess." Meredith said as she saw a little girl peeking out behind Cristina. "I haven't seen you in forever! You've grown so much, I think you're almost as tall as me. Come on giver your favorite aunt a hug!" They hugged and cuddled for a while.

"Hey you two have the whole weekend together. Let's grab some coffee and talk while I'm still here. My flight leaves in two hours."

"I thought you were staying until tomorrow? I mean you could just fly tomorrow afternoon and you'll still be on time. Right?"

"Yeah but the tickets are already purchased and I'm going to enjoy some alone time. It's not like I have that on a regular basis." She grinned and kissed her daughter on the head.

"Mom! I'm giving you space whenever you need it. I've never bothered you when you told me not to!"

"I know honey and I am entirely grateful for that. You're an amazing girl."

"Okay, now that we established that your kid is the best of all, can we go grab coffee? I wanna catch up as long as I can." Meredith interrupted.

"Sure."

They walked to the closest Starbucks and ordered coffee and hot chocolate. The two friends couldn't really talk about everything while the little girl was present so Cristina gently suggested that her daughter should use the bathroom by herself – like a big girl. Of course she hit a nerve. Her daughter was as ambitious as she was, so the challenge got accepted.

"Alright Mer, we have ten minutes tops."

"You really know how to handle your kid. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, yeah whatever, she is basically me and I know how to handle me."

Meredith laughed.

"Oh Cristina how can you be so amazing with her and such a bitch when she's not around."

"Believe it or not, I am bitchy around her. Sometimes. When I can't help it." They laughed again.

"Okay now seriously though, I am not sure if I can promise you that nobody will see her. I mean I can't really keep her locked up the whole weekend can I? Plus Derek, Zola and Bailey will meet her anyway."

"You have a house in the middle of nowhere Mer. I'm sure you'll figure something out."

"You do know that Zola is growing to be a bitchy teenager so I'm not sure if she can keep it to herself. And Derek…"

"Come on Derek can keep a secret."

"Yeah but he'll be mad. Like seriously mad Cristina."

"Why? It's not like he doesn't know."

Meredith looked at the floor sheepishly.

"MEREDTIH GREY! Don't tell me you haven't told your husband that my daughter is staying with you for the weekend! I don't want her to get in the crossfire of you two fighting."

"Well umm he won't be mad that she's staying with us… I, uhm, just never mentioned it you know?"

"What did you never mention?"

"Well he kinda doesn't know she exists."

"You cannot be serious. Tell me you're not serious." Cristina looked into her person's eyes. "Oh my god, you are serious. I think it's better if I take her with me in that case. Why did you even offer to take her in the first place?"

"Because", Meredith started,"because I wanted them to meet. It's been ten years Cristina. And I promised to never tell anyone so I never did. Not even my husband. You should be grateful you have such a trustworthy friend."

"You really never told anyone?" Cristina was surprised. She had expected that she would have at least told Derek.

"Of course not. You're my person and you asked me to keep a secret for you. So I did. It wasn't easy but I somehow managed to do it."

"Well if they meet her, could you at least make sure that as few people as possible see her? I really don't want _him _to find out."

"Oh Cristina why? I honestly think that..."

"Shut up, she's coming back!" Cristina told her friend.

"Hey little princess, are you finished already?" Cristina asked her daughter in a cheery voice. The little girl nodded. "Mommy is so proud of you!" They smiled at eachother. Meredith looked at her watch.

"Cristina it's time. You need to go now if you wanna catch that flight."

They walked to the gate together and it was time to say goodbye. It was hard, on both mother and daughter because they had never been apart for longer than 24 hours. Cristina bent down so she was on the same eyelevel as her daughter.

"Okay sweetie Mommy has to go now. I promise I'll call at least once a day." Cristina took her into her embrace. "I love you. I love you so, so much." The little girl saw the tear rolling down her mother's cheek and kissed it away.

"Don't cry Mom, I'll be fine with Aunt Meredith. Plus we can talk on the phone right?"

"Yeah, yeah we will definitely talk on the phone."

"Come on you guys it's only three days. You'll survive." Meredith said rolling her eyes and stepped forward to hug her best friend.

"Promise me _he _won't see her?" she whispered into her ear.

"Promise." Meredith whispered back.

"Take good care of my little girl okay?"

"Okay. Now go or you'll miss the plane."

Cristina planted one last kiss on her daughter's nose and hugged Meredith again and then disappeared behind security.

Suddenly the little girl started to cry.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"I miss her already…"

"Oh honey she'll be back in no time. Now let's go home and I'll introduce you to my family, how does that sound?"

"Sounds good."

"Alright, let's go then."

They arrived at the Shepherd's mansion about one hour later. Meredith got out of the car to get the suitcase as the little girl jumped out of her car seat and looked at the big wooden house in awe.

"It's so pretty!"

"Thanks. You wanna come in or just look at it from the outside?"

"Coming."

They entered the big living room that also included the kitchen. It was friendly and open due to the huge windows that basically were the wall. An amazing place to grow up. They went upstairs where Meredith guided her niece to a big empty room.

"That's your room. Actually it's your mother's room but she hasn't been here in ten years so you can have it."

"What do you mean with it's my mom's room?"

"Well we built it for her so she could stay here whenever she wanted. Or needed."

"Like a guestroom?"

"Kinda. But only for your Mom. We have an actual guestroom downstairs." Meredith smiled. The little girl looked so much like her mother. "I'll let you unpack. Derek will be here with Zola and Bailey in about thirty minutes."

"Okay."

Suddenly they heard someone downstairs. It was a male voice talking. A younger, female voice answered.

"Or maybe not." Meredith grinned. She left the room. "Derek is that you?"

"Yes dear." The male voice answered.

"Did you get the kids?"

"Yes mom, we're both here." Another young, male this time, voice answered.

"Good." Meredith said and turned around. "You stay here. I'll get you when… when we're ready okay?"

"They don't know about me do they?"

Meredith couldn't help but smile a little. This girl was definitely smarter than she should be.

"Not really."

"Okay. Have fun explaining." They smiled at eachother. Meredith turned around again, closed the door to Cristina's former room and went downstairs.

"Were you in Aunt Cristina's room?" Zola asked curiously.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well you haven't been in there in like ten years." Bailey pointed out.

"Not true!" Meredith responded.

"True. You said it was too painful."

"Whatever. There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Does it have something to do with the fact that you were in Cristina's room?" Derek inquired.

"Yeah, kind of."

"Okay."

"You guys may wanna sit down for this."

"You're scaring me Mom." Bailey said.

"It's not that bad..."

"Meredith out with it!" Derek said.

"Cristina is nominated for the Harper – Avery this year and as you know the gala is this weekend so she came back to the US for the first time in ten years and…"

"Aunt Cristina is here? Why didn't you say that earlier? Man you scared me…" Zola said excitedly.

"No, no Cristina's not here." Meredith could see the disappointment in her daughter's face.

"Meredith…" Derek started.

"It's her daughter. She's staying with us until Monday."

"Wait WHAT? Since when does Aunt Cristina have a DAUGHTER?"

"About nine years I guess?"

"Meredith what in god's name.."

"Okay you guys calm down. I promised her I'd never tell anyone but now she needs our help okay? So I'd be grateful if we all could keep this to ourselves." Derek looked at her angrily. Zola and Bailey were confused. How come their Aunt had a daughter who was nine years old and they had never met her? Was something wrong with her? Derek grabbed Meredith by her hand and whispered to her.

"It's Owen's isn't it?"

"Derek please I…"

"Just answer the question Meredith."

She remained silent and just looked at him.

"Oh my god it is and he has no idea does he?"

Silence again.

"Meredith he has a right to know. It's his kid. He needs to know."

"Derek NO! I promised her not to tell anyone. I _promised _okay?"

"Okay but if he sees her I won't lie. I can't do that."

"All right then I'll have to make sure he doesn't see her." She turned around to her kids. "Do we have an agreement? This does not leave the house, understood?"

"Yes." They all said in union.

"Okay. I'll go get her. She went upstairs again and opened the door. "Honey you can come down now. They are very excited to finally meet you." The little girl raised her eyebrows. _Finally?_

"So they took it well?"

"Could've been worse. Are you coming now?" Meredith took her by the hand and walked her down the stairs. She saw her family's eyes widen when they saw the little girl. A girl who looked exactly like her mother. There was no denying, it definitely was Cristina's daughter.

"Hi, I'm Derek. I'm happy to get the chance to meet you. You know my wife, Meredith hasn't even told us your name yet." He smiled and shook the little girl's hand.

"Oh, I'm Olivia. Olivia Meredith Yang."

**A/N: Why I chose Olivia will be explained later on!**


	4. The Big Bang Theory

"Zozo don't you want to show Olivia the house and the garden? I'm sure she'd love to see it. Or you could play together?"

"Mom would you please stop calling me Zozo? I'm _thirteen _for god's sake."

"Okay _Zola._ Would you take Olivia now please? And Bailey too. I'll make dinner. Mac and cheese okay?"

"It's the only thing you can make."

"Not true. I can cook."

"Barely."

"Well then you'll just have to life with it."

"It's not like I have a choice."

"Young lady I really don't like the way you speak to your mother." Derek said to his daughter.

"Okay, okay. I'll apologize. Sorry Mom. I love you." Zola said giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. Then she left to get her little brother and Olivia who she was incredibly curious about. She hadn't seen her Aunt Cristina in person since she had left Seattle years ago, but they always skyped on Christmas or birthdays. But in ten years she never introduced or even mentioned her daughter. That seemed a little odd to Zola. Why would she want to keep it a secret? And who was the girl's father? She made it her mission to get answers to her question in the next couple of days. Of course her brother wouldn't be much help, as he was always true, honest and loyal. He didn't like scheming. But she did. And so did her best friend Sofia. She decided to call her later to share the news. By then she had completely forgotten the promise she had made to her mother. _Whatever, it's not like Sof is gonna tell anyone._ She thought to herself.

She approached her little brother who was sitting on the swing with Olivia.

"So as you probably already know, I'm Zola and this is my little brother Bailey. I'm thirteen, he's eleven. How old are you by the way?" Zola asked curiously.

"I'm nine." Olivia answered. She already felt that Zola had made a long mental list of questions she wanted to ask her. And she understood. If she was in Zola's place, she'd totally do the same thing.

Zola sat down on the bench next to the swing set. "So your Dad is out of town I guess?" She asked, trying to sound innocent. She had heard all the myths about her uncle Owen and her aunt Cristina. The epic love story that ended so apruptly by her leaving the country.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you could've stayed with him in Zurich if he was there to look after you right?"

"Oh yeah but actually, I don't have a dad. I mean I do, of course, but I've just never met him."

Zola knew it had been ten years, almost eleven since she had left. And she was good at math. Maybe, just maybe… But could it really be? If so, then why wouldn't she have told him? Why keep it a secret?

"So you've never met your Dad and your Mom hasn't visited since ten years. And you are nine. Oh and your name is Olivia. Strange, don't you think?" She grinned at her. In her mind, she had just discovered the scandal of the century. Well maybe not scandal but still a very good story.

"Why would I think that's strange? Oh you can call me Livie by the way. Almost everyone does that."

"Except your mom I guess?"

"How did you -?"

"Zola stop it. It's enough. I know what you're thinking but it's really none of our business." Bailey interrupted suddenly. Zola glared at her brother.

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on here?"

"We're not sure yet but it could be that – "

"Zola! None. Of. Your. Business." Bailey said again.

"Oh come on. She has a right to know."

"You don't even know if you're right." Zola gave her brother a look that said everything. "Okay it's very likely but we don't know for sure."

"Know what? Please just tell me." Livie begged. Zola and Bailey exchanged a long meaningful look. Finally Bailey gave in and Zola grinned.

"Okay so our Mom asked us not to tell anyone about you since no one knows that you _exist._ So we wondered, why would aunt Cristina keep you a secret for such a long time and avoid the States like the plague? Definitely not without a good reason. Your birthday is not by any chance in February?"

"Yes why?"

"Ha I told you!" She exclaimed looking at Bailey. He rolled his eyes.

"Still doesn't mean anything." He said. Olivia stared at them, totally confused.

"I still don't understand…"

"Your Mom left in May. Plus nine months in February." Zola stated. Olivia started to get it.

"Oh. So you think my dad is – "

"From here. And we are pretty sure we know him."

"What are you waiting for? Tell me!" She said excitedly. Maybe she could finally meet her father. She could stop fantasizing about him, she wouldn't have to. He would be her father. She loved her mother more than anything but sometimes she wished she had a dad. Like everyone else. Her life was so much different than the one from regular kids already that a little normality would've been amazing.

"Your mom was married to him for like 2 years or so, I don't really know. But what I do know is that they were together even after they got divorced and I know for sure that he picked her up at our place the night before she left." Zola told them. This story was getting really interesting.

"His name is Owen Hunt and he is the Chief of Surgery and Head of Trauma at Grey – Sloan Memorial. The same hospital our parents work at and that's the place your mother used to work too." Bailey continued.

"_Owen._" Olivia realized. "She wanted me to have something from him didn't she?"

"I guess. Even though the first letter is not very creative but hey." Zola said.

"Do you know him?"

"Of course we do. He's uncle Owen."

"Do you think I could like… meet him?" she asked quietly.

"Well we would have to get you out of here without our parents noticing. Could be kinda hard. But we could figure something out."

"Okay I just want to say, before we do anything irrational, what if he isn't your dad? I mean I admit all odds are in favor, but what if he isn't?" Bailey interrupted again. The girls stared at him.

"Yeah you're probably right. It'd be super embarrassing if I met him and he wasn't my dad right?"

"I think that's highly unlikely but there's a chance. So I agree. We need to find a way to find out for sure."

"What do you want to do like a paternity test?" Bailey laughed.

"No, idiot. I have a much better idea." She said and took out her phone and dialed the number of her best friend. "Hey Sofia it's me, Zola. I have something big, but I kinda need your help. Do you think you and your moms could come over for breakfast tomorrow? Just tell them Mom called and invited you. I'll explain to you later." She hung up with a huge grin on her face. _Smart move,_ Olivia thought.

_Meanwhile inside the kitchen_

"Meredith how could you not tell me? I mean we're talking about a child. And not any child. Owen and Cristina's child. A thing no one ever thought we'd be talking about."

"I know Derek and I'm sorry but I just couldn't tell anyone. I promised."

"Did you even think of Owen when you just made that decision? You know how devastated he was when she left. I was worried that he'd end up being an alcoholic."

"How could I ever forget." Meredith remembered the first months after her person had left Seattle just too well. Owen was in a state of depression no one was able to pull him out and he was drunk almost every day. It was horrible to watch. It wasn't much better for herself. She was also drinking more than usually and she couldn't bear to enter Cristina's room so she kept it locked. Also the arrival of her new half – sister didn't do any good even though she learned a lot about her mother's past she had never understood.

"If he had known… It would've saved him from a lot of trouble."

"Don't you think I know that Derek? Do you really think I don't know that? I did what was in everyone's best interest. When Cristina told me that she was pregnant she was already seven months along. It took her that long to realize that she even wanted to tell me. And that was the time when Owen had finally started to move on. So it just wasn't right." Meredith explained.

"But you could've told me. I mean at least now I know why you spent almost all February in Zurich that year. See if you'd told me I wouldn't have been mad at you." He smiled a little.

"It's too late now anyways. Everyone has moved on. Cristina has her life in Zurich and Owen has his life in Seattle. And I understand Cristina if she doesn't want to uproot either lives. You really should see them together Derek. She's amazing with her. I always thought she'd be a good mother but turns out she is an amazing mom."

"I would love to witness that sometime."

"But you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Like I said, I won't tell, but if someone sees her and asks I won't lie. At least not about her mother."

"Okay."

"Okay. Now let's get the kids in for dinner. I bet they're hungry." Derek said kissing his wife before he went out to get the children who were still plotting how to introduce Olivia to her possible father, since they already had a plan how to confirm their theory.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! They keep me motivated. And I hope you liked this chapter and maybe you want to leave a review? I'd be glad. xoxo**


	5. The Breakfast Club

**A/N: Sorry for not updating as frequently as I'd like to but I was very busy. But this is a long chapter so I hope this is gonna make up for the wait. And thank you for your kind reviews! Very motivating. Keep them coming!**

"Olivia. Livie. Come on. Wake up. They're gonna be here soon. And we don't want to miss this moment, now do we?"

"Zola please let me sleep."

"Oh no. No way. We didn't develop this masterpiece of a plan just to have it screwed up by a jetlag that can be very well ignored."

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll get up." Olivia said, a little annoyed. She had no idea how Zola could possibly be that cheery so early in the morning. Personally, she had never been an early bird. Which was no problem because her mother wasn't either.

"Great. You know where the bathroom is right? I'll go get Bailey."

She rolled around to sit up and get out of the huge bed. In her opinion it was all really American. The bed, the pillows, the bathroom, even the doors were different. But she kind of liked it. Olivia made her way to the bathroom. She looked into the mirror. You could see that she hadn't slept a lot. She decided to take a shower. Maybe that would freshen her up a little. She let the water roll down her face and she felt more alive already. It was only now that she realized that she might find out the identity of her father for sure. Immediately she got nervous. She quickly finished her shower, got dressed and went to Zola's room. When she entered Zola turned around and looked at her.

"Pretty." She said, "But we need to make you look like your mother." Zola said grinning.

"I already look like her. No worries."

"I know but if you haven't seen your mom in like ten years, you might just remind them of _someone_. Maybe not necessarily Cristina Yang. So I got an old picture of her and my mom to see what she wore at that time." Zola said mischievously. She turned around and grabbed a pair of dark jeans, a tight black t – shirt and a brown leather jacket. She handed it to Olivia.

"What is that?" Olivia asked confused.

"That my friend is what you'll wear today. I found it in the back of my closet. Doesn't fit me anymore."

"So that will make me look more like her?"

"Yes it will. That's pretty much the outfit she used to wear all the time. Come on. Put it on."

Hesitantly Olivia put on the clothes Zola had handed her. That used to be her mother's style? Really? Well she definitely did have a past Olivia had no idea about. Including her father. So if that would help finding him she would willingly wear whatever was necessary.

"Wow. This is almost scary." Bailey was standing in the doorframe staring at Olivia. She looked a lot like the pictures he'd seen of his Aunt Cristina.

"Indeed." Zola said smiling proudly.

"Okay what now?" Olivia asked.

"Now, we go downstairs, make our dad making breakfast and wait. They shouldn't be long though. Sofia just texted me. They left five minutes ago. Gives us twenty. Let's do this people."

They went down to the kitchen where Meredith and Derek were sitting, already dressed with two mugs of coffee. Meredith raised her eyebrows when she saw Olivia. With the leather jacket she reminded her even more of Cristina. Did she see an old picture and dressed like this on purpose? No, that'd be absurd. Why would she? It was probably just a weird coincidence.

"Dad aren't you making breakfast?" Zola asked.

"Sure what do you guys want?" Derek asked smiling at the kids. He too noticed the similarity in clothing between Olivia and her mother. Weird, he thought.

"Um how about a typical American breakfast? Livie never had one. And make a lot I'm starving." Zola said innocently. Of course Olivia had had an American breakfast before, after all her mother was American. To be honest she hardly ever had a Swiss breakfast. She nodded and smiled anyway.

"Sure. Then I'll better get started." The kids sat down at the table next to Meredith. Moments later the doorbell rang.

"Zola would you go open the door please?" Derek said, completely forgetting the fact that the secret daughter of Cristina Yang was sitting at his table. Zola grinned and got up to open the door. It was already too late when Meredith realized that her best friend's secret might no longer be a secret after the door was open.

"Aunt Callie, Aunt Arizona. Sofia. Nice to see you, please come in. Dad has just started making breakfast." Zola said in a faked surprised tone.

Meredith jumped up from her seat and tried to cover Olivia with her body, but Callie had already spotted a head of curly black hair from behind.

"Oh my god is that Cristina?" Callie almost screamed.

"Callie. Arizona. What are you doing here?" Meredith said a little panicked.

"Zola told Sofia that you invited us for breakfast today. But is that really Cristina or do you have a guest that has equally curly black hair?" Callie inquired. If it really was Cristina she would kick her ass. Not a word in ten years? How could she!

"No," Meredith said and stepped aside, knowing the truth would come out anyway in a few seconds. "it's not Cristina." Olivia stood up and turned around. She saw the surprised and terrified look on the face of the two women standing in front of her. You could see that thy definitely associated her face with Cristina's. The clothes made the similarity even more remarkable. She felt her aunt's desperation and decided to step in.

"I'm not Cristina. I'm Olivia. Olivia Yang. And I guess the Cristina you're talking about is my mother, Cristina Yang. I'm her daughter."

"Wait." Arizona said. How was that possible? Cristina Yang and a daughter? But the little girl's appearance spoke for itself. But if this was her daughter, then who was the father? How old was she?

"Meredith how long have you – " Callie began.

"Okay kids why don't you go upstairs and play a little? I bet y'all have a lot to catch up on." Derek interrupted.

"Dad! We haven't even had breakfast yet!" Zola protested.

"Here you go. Take the pancakes and cereal. I'm sure Olivia likes it." He said.

"Oh I love cereal. But without milk please." Olivia said smiling.

"Huh, you really are Cristina's daughter." Callie said.

"Well let's go then." Sofia said and without further protest all for kids walked upstairs to Olivia's room.

"Why did you do that Sof? How are we gonna hear what they're talking about?" Zola said angrily.

"Relax Zo, I left my phone downstairs and called you. Good thing you put me on hold before." Sofia grinned.

"Oh my god Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres. You are a genius. And I wondered why you'd call me when you were standing right in front of me." Zola said and took out her phone. That would work just fine.

_**Downstairs**_

"Meredith what the hell?" Callie shouted. She really had to hold herself back. What was going on here?

"I can – " Meredith tried to explain but got interrupted by Arizona's angry voice.

"How long did you know this? And what is she doing here? Where's Cristina?"

"And most importantly, who's her father? Oh my god is she married again? Is it like all happy family? Because you know if Owen finds that out it'll break his heart." Callie hissed.

"Okay I think we should all calm down now and let Meredith explain. She does owe us some answers." Derek looked knowingly at his wife. He knew that she hated going behind her friend's back. But it looked like she didn't have much of a choice.

"I think I'll just start at the beginning. Well the beginning for me." Meredith started. "It was about half a year after she had left for Zurich and as you guys know I hadn't heard from her ever since. So when she suddenly decided to call me I was pretty upset first but then she told me…"

"_You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey, how may I help you?"_

"_Mer? It's me."_

"_Cristina?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Oh so suddenly I exist again? What happened? Six months jetlag?"_

"_I know I should've called. I just… couldn't. I was extremely busy and I – " her voice broke._

"_Hey are you okay?"_

_Cristina laughed hysterically._

"_No, no I'm not okay. I'm really not. And it literally took me forever to bring up the courage to call you and now you're mad and it'll be even worse when I tell you… I think I should just hang up."_

"_Cristina don't you dare hanging up on me after six months silence."_

"_Seven months. Pretty much exactly seven months."_

"_Same difference."_

"_Aren't you surprised that I know the exact time?"_

"_A little, why?"_

"_That's what I've been wanting to tell you for like three and a half months but I just…" she had to hold back her tears again._

"_Wow you're starting to scare me."_

"_I'm sorry it's… Oh god everytime I say it out loud I kinda get a nervous breakdown, you'd think I'd be used to it by now but I'm just not."_

"_Used to what? Cristina please talk to me. You know I'm always there for you, even if you choose to ignore me again. I love you. Now tell me what's wrong." _

_Cristina took a deep breath. She had to do it. The sooner the better, plus it was really late to tell her already._

"_I'm pregnant Mer. I'm pregnant." __She started to laugh again._

"_You're what?" Meredith prayed to god that she just heard something wrong._

"_Oh you heard me right. I'm pregnant, I'm having a baby and I can't handle it."_

"_Well then just have another abortion. It's not like you haven't done it before."_

"_Yeah and it's not like I didn't want to. But abortion in Switzerland is only legal in the first trimester, so I kinda had no choice."_

"_Wait you're out of your first trimester already?"_

"_Almost seven months along."_

"_You're kidding me right? I mean you can't be seven months pregnant and find out now. That is not possible."_

"_I've known for a while, just too late to have an abortion, plus I've been wanting to call you ever since that stick showed a plus sign. I just wasn't brave enough and Owen… I mean he told me that we shouldn't talk anymore because it was too painful and I wanted him to move on and… It's just a screwed up situation."_

"_What does Owen have to do with that?"_

_Silence._

"_Oh. Oh. Ooooh. God Cristina you do know what birth control is, right?"_

_Silence again._

"_Too soon?"_

"_Kind of. Yeah."_

"_Sorry."_

"_It's fine. Can you just maybe be there for the birth?"_

"_Why didn't you tell Owen?"_

"_Mer don't change the subject."_

"_I'm not changing the subject I'm asking a question. A very important question. In my opinion at least."_

"_Trust me I have my reasons. Plus he has moved on, hasn't he?"_

"_He kind of has. But I'm sure if you'll let him know he'll be over the moon. Mad at first but when he realizes that you're actually having it he'll be estatic."_

"_I can't tell him Mer. I can't. And I won't. Oh and you won't either. No one can ever know. Promise me you'll keep this a secret?"_

"_Okay fine promise, but I still think he has a right to know."_

"_Will you just be there?"_

"_I'll try. When are you due?"_

"_February 16__th__."_

"_Fine. I'll try to get off work the week before and maybe a week after the baby is born."_

"_Thank you. And you promise you won't tell anyone?"_

"_I already did, didn't I?"_

"_You can't understand this right now but you will eventually."_

"_Take care of yourself okay? We want a healthy baby, right?"_

"_Yeah we do." Cristina couldn't help but smile a little. It was really real. And she still had no idea how to handle it. Being a single mother and having a whole research hospital to run? Plus her trial had just started to be successful. Kids and timing. Not two words that are mentioned in the same sentence._

"That was when she first told me. I promised her not to tell anyone." Meredith finished the first part of her story.

"So it's Owen's." Callie asked silently.

"Yeah. Yeah she's Owen's daughter."

Arizona was speechless. She knew that it took Owen a long time just to try and move on and now, that he had finally managed to build a life for himself, it was all threatened to fall apart. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. But then, he had a child with the so called love of his life and she knew nothing would make him happier.

"So she's a single mother?" Arizona finally spoke. "Cristina Yang is a single mother?"

"Yes she is." They all chuckled. "And not a bad one actually. Olivia is quite a girl. But hey, promise me you won't tell anyone!" Meredith said in a serious voice again.

"Seriously? You mean we should just keep this to ourselves? After all Owen's been through, you really don't want to tell him?" Callie said a little surprised.

"I promised her no one would find out. Except for Derek and the kids of course. There was no way of avoiding them."

"Where is Cristina by the way?"

"Hello? Harper – Avery Awards?" Arizona informed her wife.

"Oh right, that's today right?"

"Yes."

"So you're babysitting?"

"Yes. Only possible solution. And trust me she's not happy about it. She is terrified he'll find out."

"Then I guess I shouldn't have talked him out of going to the ceremony to see her again?" Arizona said gritting her teeth.

"You what?" Meredith said.

"He wanted to go to see her again, you know he was always whining that they had no real goodbye and everything so he wanted to go to the Harper – Avery Awards to surprise her. And I told him it's a bad idea. So he stayed. If I hadn't talked to him he wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have to worry that they might run into eachother." Arizona confessed sheepishly.

"But then they'd see eachtother again and we all know how that would end. So no real harm done." Derek said. He never quite understood the weird relationship between Cristina and Owen. It was like everytime they saw eachother they just couldn't hold back. Not even the smallest bit of self – control left. It would be funny if it wouldn't be so… sad.

"So far." Callie started. "Imagine Olivia running into Owen. That would be awkward."

"Oh Olivia I get it. The _O_." Arizona suddenly said.

"Yeah well not very creative but that's what she wanted." Meredith smiled. She still remembered the day her best friend gave birth very clearly.

"_Mer please tell me this is over soon? I can't handle much more. Oh god another one." Cristina squeezed her best friend's hand as tightly as she could. She had never imagined the pain to be that bad. _

"_Just one more push Cristina and you'll have your baby okay? I know it hurts, but you can do it. You're strong. Just one more." Meredith tried to calm her down. She hated to see her friend in that kind of pain. It was horrible to watch. Cristina let out one last big scream. And then there it was. A high pitched voice filling the whole room with its first cry._

"_Congratulations Doctor Yang, you have a beautiful baby girl." The doctor said. And put the little girl in her mother's arms. Cristina looked at her daughter and felt nothing but pure love and joy. She had dark brown eyes, definitely Asian looking, and her head was already full of dark curls. She whimpered a little as her mother held her closer to her chest. _

"_Hi baby girl. You know you're timing isn't perfect but as far as I can tell you are." Cristina cooed at the baby in her arms. Meredith looked at her best friend. The day before she had been terrified and not sure if she could handle it, but now all the doubts were washed away by this little wonder. And it took less than a second. Finally Cristina looked up at Meredith._

"_Isn't she perfect?"_

"_Yeah she is. She's beautiful Cristina. And she looks just like you."_

"_She does. Oh and she needs a name."_

"_Have you thought of anything?"_

"_I hoped she'd be a boy so that I could give it Owen as a middle name but I can't do that to her." She chuckled. "But I think I just give her a name that starts with an O. So that she'll at least have something of him."_

"_You still won't tell me why he can't know?"_

"_I'm sorry but no, I can't."_

"_Well then, let me hear her name."_

"_It's Olivia. Olivia Meredith Yang."_

_Meredith was speechless. She loved it that her best friend's daughter was named after her. It was one of the most perfect moments in all of their lives. Even though it would've been even better if Owen could've been there too, but what do they say? You can't have everything. _

"Well I think Olivia is cute. And it kinda suits her." Arizona smiled broadly. No one had noticed Sofia's phone laying on the table. And no one knew that the kids upstairs had heard every word as clearly as if they'd been sitting downstairs.

_**Upstairs**_

They were all silent and stared at the phone.

"At least now we know for sure." Zola started quietly.


	6. Curiosity

"So now what?" Olivia asked, still a little shocked. She now definitely knew who her father was. The day she had dreamed of for a long time. But was she really ready? Now she kind of wished her mother would've been there. She missed her. On the other hand, if her mom would've been there she'd probably still not know her father.

"I think we should go downstairs." Bailey said quietly. He felt bad when he saw the look on Olivia's face. He wasn't quite sure if they'd done the right thing.

"Should we tell them that we heard everything? I mean it wouldn't make it worse, would it? Maybe they could even help." Sofia suggested.

"Well if we tell them we're so gonna get yelled at. Mom kinda told us to keep it a secret. And as you heard, Aunt Cristina definitely doesn't want Uncle Owen to find out." Zola said a little concerned.

They all looked at Olivia. She wasn't even listening anymore. It was a lot to take in. Suddenly they heard Meredith's voice from downstairs.

"Kids, you can come down now. Callie and Arizona would love to talk to Olivia."

They did as they were told and went downstairs. Again, Olivia could see all eyes widen when they saw her. She felt like they'd never get used to her looking like her mother, one of their oldest friends.

"So Olivia," Arizona started," I am so glad to finally meet you. I'm Arizona Robbins I used to work with your mother and we were good friends. Oh and this is my wife Callie, also a friend of your mom's and an ex – colleague." She introduced herself. Callie next to her nodded and smiled.

"You guys wanna sit and have breakfast? I'll make pancakes." Derek offered.

"Please Dad, I'm starving." Zola said.

"I hope you won't mind a little curiosity. I mean we didn't really know about you and now we're just really glad to get a chance to get to know you a little. If that's okay with you of course." Callie smiled, trying to sound casual.

"Sure, ask away. I'm getting used to it. Seems like my mom really kept me a secret from everyone." Olivia said.

"How's your mom doing? We haven't seen her in ten years."

"She's doing fine I guess. I mean she's getting a Harper – Avery how can she not be okay right? She always says she doesn't want to get her hopes up but I know she'll win. She really deserves it, she worked so hard the past year. Usually she picks me up from school every day, but for the past year I spent pretty much every afternoon at the hospital before we got home for dinner. I'm not complaining though. I love the hospital." She said smiling a little.

"Wait so you're saying that Cristina Yang is home for dinner every day?" Arizona asked a little perplex.

"Yeah. She used to pick me up after school and take me for lunch but with all the research and the Harper – Avery it was mostly just dinner, TV or reading time, and then straight to bed. Oh and homework of course."

"I don't think we're talking about the same Cristina Yang." Callie laughed. Meredith, who was standing in the back, couldn't help but smile. She knew how much motherhood had changed Cristina. She was a lot different, but in a very good way. She had witnessed it herself how much Cristina loved and adored her daughter, but if she hadn't she probably wouldn't believe a word of what Olivia had just said. Knowing the pre – mother Cristina, it was actually pretty hard to believe. But she knew it was true. Every word of it.

"Well Cristina's changed. If I hadn't seen it myself I probably wouldn't believe it either." Meredith grinned.

"So you two live in Zurich? Just the two of you?"

"Callie…" Arizona tried to stop her wife. This was definitely not a question for a nine year old.

"What? I'm just asking her a question."

"Yeah, it's just us. We lived in an apartment near the hospital but we built a house in the suburbs and moved there when I was like four. She said she wanted us to have everything. Actually I have a picture on my phone." Olivia took out her phone and showed them some pictures of her home. Arizona's mouth dropped when she saw the picture of a beautiful two – story mansion with a huge pool in the backyard. It was modern, but there were still traditional European elements noticeable. It all fit perfect into the scenery with the Swiss Alps in the background. It was literally breathtaking.

"Wow." Sofia simply stated as she was looking over her mother's shoulder.

"And Cristina really planned it?" Callie said, not believing what she saw.

"No haha, she hired someone. I don't think she gave him much instruction." Meredith laughed.

"Glad to know that at least some thing never change." Arizona grinned.

"Wait does she cook and clean? Or do you have a maid or something?" Callie asked.

"Uh she does cook, but we also eat a lot of takeout. Her cooking skills have improved though. But she still kinda hates it. She wouldn't tell me because she wants me to eat healthy, but I know she doesn't really like to cook. It makes her feel too much like a stay – at – home mother. Same with cleaning. I mean she does it because she has no choice but still."

"So there's actually no one? Not even a nanny?"

"Nope. She said she'd hate herself if I'd grow up having a nanny as a mom and not her. She always says you have to give a hundred percent, otherwise you should just not do it at all."

"Sounds like her, but what did she do with you when you were little? It's not like she could take you into an OR."

"She had a crib set up for me in her office after she came back from maternity leave so she could spend time with me since she works a lot in her office anyway. When she really needed to leave Uncle Ross looked after me. He is my frequent babysitter. Well was because I can look after myself pretty well by now."

"This is so weird you have no idea." Arizona said.

"She must've been a lot different when you knew her huh?" Olivia said curiously.

"Different doesn't even begin to describe it. She was pretty much the complete opposite." Callie said a little sarcastic.

"Well I don't know a lot about her past. I just know that she was married. She still has the wedding picture in her office. Do you know him?" Olivia inquired. She just wanted to know the name of the man in the picture. Maybe he was the mysterious Owen Hunt.

"We do actually. But that was all a very long time ago." Meredith said before Callie or Arizona could say something inappropriate.

"She looks really happy in the picture. I think she really loved him." Olivia stated.

"Trust me she loved him more than anything in her life. Well she maybe loves you more now, but she used to say that he was the love of her life." Meredith said again smiling a little though it hurt to think of Cristina and Owen's past. There had been just too much drama.

"Do you know what happened between them?" Olivia inquired.

"I don't think it's my story to tell Livie, but I know that it ended when she left."

"Okay, well she must've had her reasons." She simply said. There was no good coming from this conversation.

Suddenly the phone rang. Meredith picked up and smiled at the sound of the familiar voice.

"Livie, it's for you. It's your mother." Meredith grinned.

"Speak of the devil." Callie said. Meredith made a gesture in Callie's direction to make her shut up. After all Olivia was supposed to be hidden in the woods. She handed the phone to Olivia.

"Mommy! I miss you so much!"

"_Well I miss you too honey! It's weird to be here without you. You'd love Boston."_

"You could've just taken me with you."

"_Right, but then you wouldn't get to spend time with Auntie Meredith."_

"True. How are you? How was your flight?"

"_I'm good, just a little tired. The flight was okay, I was just glad when I finally arrived at the hotel to have a bed to sleep in. By the way, have you settled in okay?"_

"Yes I have, the Shepherds are really nice and me, Bailey and Zola are having a lot of fun."

"_I'm so glad to hear that. I have to go now, but I'll call you first thing tomorrow morning okay? Oh and tell the Shepherds I say hi."_

"Will do. I love you and you'll rock the ceremony tonight."

"_Aw thanks baby. I love you too. So much. Don't ever forget that okay?"_

"Bye Mom."

"_Bye sweetie."_

"So you were smart enough not to mention Callie, Arizona and Sofia." Derek grinned.

"I figured she wouldn't take that too well."

They all laughed.

"Well we should go now. Our shift starts in an hour and Sofia has a bunch of homework to catch up on." Arizona said, ruffling her daughter's hair.

"Oh Mom, come on. Can't I do that tomorrow?"

"Nope. Today's the day. Let's go."

After a lot of hugging and _'nice to meet you's _they left.

"Now, what should we do with the rest of the day? Anything in particular you guys want to do?" Meredith said.

"Well I gotta go to work. I didn't know Olivia was visiting, otherwise I'd have taken off the weekend too." Derek said grumpily.

"Oh Mom we could show her Seattle. Like just walk around the city a little bit." Zola suggested enthusiastically.

"That's a great idea Zo, it's just that…" Meredith started.

"That no one is supposed to see me so walking around town isn't such a great idea." Olivia finished.

"I'm genuinely sorry Livie. Really." Meredith said with apologetic eyes. She felt really bad to keep her locked up like that.

"It's fine. You promised her. Maybe we could just play outside now and some board games later?" She suggested.

"Sounds great. Ever played baseball, European girl?" Bailey said grinning.

"I haven't actually. But I'd love to." Olivia agreed.

_**Later that night in Boston**_

Cristina was just ready to leave for the ceremony as she heard a knock at the door. Who would possibly be looking for her right now? For all she knew, no one knew she was even there. When she opened the door she found herself looking at a delivery guy.

"Dr. Yang?" he asked.

"Yes. How can I help you?"

"I need a signature please." He said pointing at a blank space on some sort of receipt. She signed.

"Thank you." He said smiling, handing her an envelope and a simple white tulip. The kind of tulip that had been in her wedding bouquet. She curiously opened the envelope. Inside she found a short letter.

_My dearest Cristina,_

_After ten years you are finally getting what you deserve. I am so unbelievable proud of you, you have no idea. I know it's been a decade since we've last seen eachother or talked to eachother, but I still miss you every day. I hope you like the tulip. Don't forget to put it into a vase before you leave for the ceremony. _

_Congratulations._

_Owen_

_P.S.: You're probably thinking "Owen really, after all this time?" Well, turn the card around._

She did as she was told and held her breath when she saw what was written on there. It was like a knife in her heart. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. But she had to keep it together or her make up would be completely ruined. And she had to look amazing for her acceptance speech. When she felt save that she wouldn't burst into tears again, she read the word on the back one more time. How one word could make you feel so many things all at once.

_Always._

**A/N: Harry Potter reference *cough* *cough*. Well I just had to. Hope you liked this chapter. Leave a review, will you?**


	7. What We Never Saw Coming

_**Harper – Avery Ceremony, Boston**_

It was almost time. She was sitting at a table with a bunch of strangers who had billions of questions about her work and her personal life she felt uncomfortable answering. She just wanted to get it over with and be home in Zurich with her daughter. Of course she really wanted, no needed, this award because she felt like she had to prove to herself that she could in fact do it. Even with a child. That she was still hardcore and an amazing cardio goddess. So when Catherine Avery walked up on that podium she held her breath once again.

"….And the Harper – Avery award goes to… Dr. Cristina Yang, Klansman Institute, Zurich, Switzerland." She couldn't believe it. She won. She really won. It was like she was in some sort of trance when she walked up to that podium to deliver her acceptance speech she hadn't prepared. So she had to improvise.

"Wow. I mean thank you. I'm much honored to receive such a prestigious award, I truly am. Some of you asked me today how I managed to come this far. Well if I look back to my days as a surgical resident or even as an intern I have to admit that I don't really recognize myself. Of course I don't regret any decision because they're all part of the reason I'm standing here in front of you today. Of course some of them felt wrong at some point but in retrospect, I think I finally made peace with myself. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that you never, and I mean _never_, know what is going to make a difference in your life. What is going to make you whole. What is going to give you the power to be invincible. Because speaking from personal experience, it's always the thing you thought of last."

_**Shepherd Residence, Seattle**_

Meredith was woken up by the sound of little feet walking down the hallway, stopping in front of her bedroom. Just before she could get up to see what was going on, she heard a shy knock. She walked towards the door and opened it to find Olivia standing outside.

"Livie what are you doing? It's two in the morning. Why aren't you in your bedroom?" Meredith asked sleepily.

"I kinda can't sleep." She confessed.

"Okay let's go to your room." They walked down the hallway and entered Cristina's room. Meredith closed the door and joined Olivia sitting on the bed.

"So are you going to tell me what's up?" Meredith asked ruffling her niece's hair. Olivia started to cry. "Oh honey don't cry. Just tell me what's wrong please so that I can help you." She said pulling the little girl into a tight hug.

"I miss my mom." She sobbed, "We have this ritual, before I go to bed. She always comes to my room and sits with me on the bed and tells me about her work. Her trial, her patients, their diseases… It's kinda like my bedtime story. Then she gives me a kiss on my forehead and on my cheeks and turns off the light. I don't know why but I just really missed that tonight. So I couldn't sleep."

"Aw princess I'll stay with you until you're asleep, promise. And then when you wake up tomorrow, your mom is gonna be back really soon okay?" Meredith tried to comfort the little girl sobbing in her arms.

"Actually," Olivia said a little calmed down, "I have to confess something. But you have to promise me not to yell at Bailey and Zola."

"Okay… What is it?" Meredith asked suspiciously.

"Well we kinda overheard your conversation with Callie and Arizona today. Actually, Zola kind of invited them so that she could prove some theory… I hope you're not mad." Olivia confessed.

"How did you hear it? I mean you guys were up in Zola's room." Meredith asked confused and shocked at the same time.

"Doesn't matter now. I just heard and I was wondering, when you talked about my father…"

"I guess you have a million questions right now, but I think your mother should be the one to answer them." She tried talking herself out of the situation.

"See that's the thing. She won't tell me anything. I actually ignored her call tonight on purpose."

"Yeah I was surprised to see you in bed that early. So was your mother. She won by the way. She finally has her Harper – Avery." Meredith grinned.

"Oh my god! She must be so excited. Now I feel kinda bad for ignoring her but I just needed to think you know?" Olivia said excitedly. She was truly happy for her mother. She really deserved it.

"Yes she was pretty excited. And she wanted to tell you first. She was really disappointed that you were asleep already. You know, I've known your mom for a very long time and I can tell you that you are the most important thing to her. She put her work second. She never did that before in her life. And I know that there've been moments where she wished she put her work first, but she couldn't. Because she loves you. And in the end, it turned out to be for the better. She always says, that without you, she wouldn't have been able to do it. She says that you opened her eyes, gave her a new perspective. You saved her. You're her daughter and all she wants to do is keep you safe. I promise."

"Then why did she never tell me about my dad? Is he like a bad guy or something?"

"No. No not at all. He's… He was a great guy." Meredith wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't just ignore the little girl's questions, but she also didn't really have the right to answer them.

"Was? Did he die?" Olivia asked, a little scared. What if he was really dead?

"No he isn't… he's just changed a lot. Like you're mom. He's been through a lot since she left."

"So he isn't a great guy _anymore_?"

"Well it's not like he's a bad guy, he's just not the same Owen anymore. Ever since your mother left him, he just wasn't the same. He tried really hard to get over her but I guess he never really could."

"Does he know about me?" She just had to ask that question. She had to know if her father abandoned her or if he just hadn't known there was a her to abandon. Meredith cleared her throat.

"No he doesn't." She finally said.

"Do you know why she left him? And why she never told him about me?"

"She left for the job in Zurich. Work was her number one priority and Owen… Well he didn't exactly push her to go but he accepted that she had to leave. For her own good. And his. They decided to make a clean break. No phone calls, no emails, no texts. Nothing. And I think it worked for your mother, but I know that Owen really missed her. He probably still does, but he learned to hide it over the years. He moved on about half a year after she'd left. We all did eventually because she never called, never texted. I was the only person she stayed in touch with. But I have no idea why she didn't tell him." Meredith explained, trying to avoid any touchy subjects involving Owen. The thing was, Cristina didn't know of any of it. She had no idea. So if someone was able to tell them to Olivia, it was her.

"They were married right?"

"Yes they were. But not for long. Two years and a bit. But they weren't happy."

"They looked really happy in the picture. You know like the kind of love you see in movies…"

"I know. It's not like they were unhappy all the time. They were just… too different. They loved eachother. Maybe still do. But they just weren't destined to be together." Meredith knew she was lying. Of course they were meant to be, but the universe just had a way to screw things up for them.

"So why did they get divorced? And don't tell me because they'd grown apart."

"Well you could put it that way but… Olivia I really think you should talk with your mother about this. It's her business."

"Aunt Meredith please. At least tell me if he's married again or if he has kids or anything."

Meredith figured she could tell Olivia that. She already knew who her dad was, so she had a right to be curious.

"Okay. So after your mom left, he turned to his best friend, scotch. He was really down and depressed. We were all really worried. But eventually he got out of his mess. With the help of my sister in law, Amelia. She had been in his situation before, so she knew what was going on inside of him. She convinced him to stop drinking. Since she was going through a breakup herself that time, they spent a lot of time together. At some point it turned into this weird relationship no one understood. Then Amelia got pregnant. Owen, as he is, proposed to her and she said yes. So they got married. I personally think that this was your mother's reason not to tell him. The baby and the engagement was the last thing I told her about Owen. That actually was before she found out that she was pregnant. It all happened kind of fast."

"So I have a sibling?"

"Well not exactly. Something happened… Something bad. After the baby was born, they went home and everything seemed fine. But after six months, the baby died. That happens sometimes. We don't know why. And it crushed Amelia. Of course Owen was devastated too, but Amelia couldn't handle it. She started doing drugs again. Owen tried to help her but he didn't have much strength left. We all tried to convince her to stop, but nothing helped. It wasn't like the time she drugs before that, she was just downright depressed. And she took pain meds. A lot of them. We couldn't imagine the pain she was going through. We tried not to give up on her, but it wasn't as easy as it sounds. You have to know that Amelia had a baby before and it died in her arms because it was born without a brain. So losing two babies in such a short time… She just couldn't take it. And Owen… He was supportive until the very end. He tried to get her into rehab but there wasn't anything or anyone that could've saved her. Eventually she overdosed. On purpose. Because she couldn't take it anymore. She was in a coma for two months before Owen decided to take her off life-support. That was two years after your mother had left." Meredith said tearing up a little bit on the memory of that horrible time. Olivia just stared at her. Maybe she had said too much.

"Wow that's really horrible." She simply said. She didn't really know what else to say. There were no words for something like that.

"Yeah it really was. He went back to the army six months after that. He came back after two, because he got into a shooting over there in Iraq and almost died. He told me once he wished that he'd died in that desert. But he came back, even more damaged than when he left. And this time your mother wasn't there to save him so he remained all dark and twisty, because there was no reason for him to get better. He didn't see his psychical health as a good enough reason. It took me another two years to convince him to start therapy again. He did get better. He still has nightmares and works way too much though. But he says work's helping so I'm not saying anything." By looking at Olivia she knew she had said way too much.

"I don't know what to say." It was a lot to take in. You wouldn't think that so many horrible things could happen to one person. But apparently they did.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry I really shouldn't have told you. It's way too much for you. I'm genuinely sorry."

"Don't apologize. I wanted to know. And I'm glad you told me. I think I understand my mom better now."

"Okay well you should really go to bed now. Oh god look it's three in the morning. We both need to sleep before your mother comes back tomorrow."

"You're right. Thanks again. Goodnight Aunt Meredith."

"Goodnight princess, sleep tight." She gave her a kiss on her forehead and on her cheeks. They smiled at eachother. Then Meredith switched off the light and left. She knew that she'd be in big trouble when her friend would come back the next day. But maybe, just maybe it would make everything right again. She believed that if two people were meant to be, they'd eventually find their way back.

**A/N: I know, how could I do this to Owen and Amelia…. But at least now we know what happened. Yay. I hope you're not too mad at me and leave a review. Thanks for reading. **


	8. Truth Hurts

**A/N: I know you didn't like the Owen/Amelia thing but for me it seemed logic. They both broke up with the love of their lives. They needed someone to lean on and it just happened. I know my final solution was cruel but it seemed legit. Anyway enjoy the next chapter. **

"Olivia?"

No answer.

"Livie? I'm gonna go pick up your mom at the airport. You wanna come?"

No answer.

"Olivia, can I come in?"

Nothing again. Meredith slowly opened the door. The little girl was sitting on her bed, looking outside the big window. She had her earplugs in. Meredith cleared her throat loudly. Olivia shrieked as she saw her aunt standing in the doorframe. She took out the earplugs.

"You didn't hear me, did you?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"No sorry. I was just… I was thinking. About what you told me last night. It was a lot to digest."

"Oh honey I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have told you. At least not that much. You're only nine but you always act like you're way older so it's easy to forget sometimes. I hope I didn't traumatize you." Meredith said in the most apologetic voice she had.

"It's fine I mean I wanted to know right? Don't blame yourself." She looked up at Meredith and she could see that she wasn't really able to deal with it. It was time that Cristina got here. Her daughter needed help and she was the only who could give that to her. Meredith was a bit scared of how Cristina would react to the fact that Olivia knew everything. She decided to tell her on their way home, so that she couldn't walk away and had no choice but to listen to what she had to say.

"So are you coming to the airport with me?"

"Uh no I think I'll pass. But thanks for asking."

"Okay well, we'll be back in about two hours I'd say." Meredith turned around and walked towards the door.

"Aunt Meredith," Olivia's voice stopped her, "are you going to tell her? About my dad and that I know." She asked a little scared. She was unsure of her mother's reaction. She didn't want to fight.

"Yeah I think it's best. Plus if I tell her right away she'll have time to cool off before she gets here." Meredith grinned.

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

"Okay I gotta go now or I'll be late. If Derek gets home before me tell him I'll bring lunch."

"Will do. Bye."

"Cristina. Over here." Meredith waved for her person to see her.

"Hey Mer. Where's Olivia? I thought she'd come with you?!"

"Well she was having fun with Zola and Bailey so I didn't want to disturb her." She had made up that lie while waiting for Cristina to get through customs.

"Okay well I'm glad they're getting along."

"Oh before I forget. Congrats on your Harper – Avery. Finally. You would've deserved it years ago but we always knew that they were kind of retarded." They both burst into laughter.

"Right. Well anyway thanks. I'm really happy. But I would be even happier if I could see my baby girl, gosh I hate to admit how much I missed her." Meredith grinned. It always made her proud to hear a sentence like that from Cristina. She knew she would only admit it to her. She still liked to be thought of as the completely hardcore cardio goddess. Which she was, really, unless she was with her daughter. Olivia was pretty much the only one who got the soft and caring Cristina Yang. Before Olivia it was Owen. Meredith was reminded of what happened last night with Livie. She needed to tell Cristina.

"Yeah well let's change that. Come on the car is that way."

They talked all way to the car. About everything and everyone. It was so nice to catch up that Meredith felt even worse about the fact that she had to destroy Cristina's good mood as soon as they would be out of the parking lot. They got into the car and Meredith swallowed. How was she supposed to start? Hey Cristina my thirteen year old daughter tricked us into revealing Olivia's existence to Callie and Arizona so they know and she heard everything so she asked me about Owen and I told her his horrible life story and now she's completely confused and scared but the rest of the weekend was great. Yeah. Maybe not like that. But how do you tell your best friend that you broke the most important promise you ever made to her? She just had to get it over with. But Cristina was ahead of her.

"So no one saw her, right? I mean except for Derek, Zola and Bailey." Cristina asked wanting to hear Meredith reassure that she kept her promise.

"Well I actually wanted to talk to you about that so I'm glad you're bringing it up." Meredith started.

"Meredith… What happened?"

"Nothing exactly happened it's just… Callie and Arizona came over. I didn't know. Zola invited them. She planned it with Olivia and Bailey. I think Zola somehow knew she was Owen's daughter and she tricked me into admitting it in front of Arizona and Callie and Olivia… She kinda heard everything." Meredith admitted sheepishly.

"MEREDITH GREY WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Cristina yelled.

"I'm sorry but they saw her and she told them you were her mom before I could even think of a lie. I'm really sorry please don't hate me."

"Right now I have every reason to hate you. Oh god she must be so pissed at me. I bet everyone knows by now. Callie and Arizona are such gossips." She buried her face in her hands.

"They promised not to tell anyone. And I think they really didn't. And they won't. But in exchange for their silence I had to tell them the whole Olivia story. I hope you don't mind." Cristina clenched her teeth. Her weekend had been so perfect and now everything was completely screwed up. How could she have let it come this far.

"Well it's too late now anyway. So she knows about Owen? That he's her dad?"

"Yeah she does."

"I'm not looking forward to what I'm coming home to. Well not home but you know what I mean."

"Cristina, Seattle will always be your home no matter how long you've been gone." Meredith reassured her best friend. She needed her support right now, even if she had let her down.

"I know. I'm just afraid of her questions. I mean I can't really answer them. I haven't heard from him in ten years. The last thing you told me was that he was getting married to Amelia and that they had a baby. Gosh it seems like forever ago. That was even before I knew I was pregnant. You told me in an email because I wasn't calling and everything. I feel so stupid now."

"Don't do that. You didn't know. And don't worry about any questions I think I answered pretty much everything I could."

"You what? Are you telling me right now that my daughter knows more about her father than I do?" Cristina didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She went for shocked. That seemed to be an appropriate reaction for this messed up situation.

"No because you know Owen better than anyone else. At least you did before you left. A lot has happened but you explicably told me you didn't want to know."

"Can you blame me? He has a happy life with your sister in law and their child. What else is there to say?" Cristina was a little angry now.

"Cristina, their baby died. He died when he was six months old. Amelia overdosed two years after that. Owen had to take her off life – support."

"Oh my god that's horrible. I wish I'd known. He must have been devastated. And Derek… She was his sister. Oh Mer I'm genuinely sorry."

"It's alright you didn't know. There's actually a lot you don't know."

"We have the whole ride home, fill me in." Cristina demanded. She finally needed to know what happened to Owen. All those years she had imagined Owen being happy with his family. But apparently this wasn't the case. As Meredith continued she was shocked and heartbroken about what had happened to her ex – husband, the love of her life. She didn't want to believe that so many horrible things would happen to such an amazingly good person like Owen. She felt so ashamed that his life had been so miserable. And mainly because of her. Of course it wasn't her fault that the baby had died, but if she had never left, he wouldn't have slept with Amelia and there would've been no baby that could've died. When Meredith finished her story she looked over at Cristina. She could tell that she blamed herself.

"It's not your fault. Nothing of all that is in any way your fault."

"But it is Mer. If I would've stayed…"

"Could've, would've, should've Cristina. You left. It happened. There's nothing you can do to change it."

"I know I shouldn't blame myself because I left for the right reasons. And I know that if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had Olivia and we would still be in this very unhappy somewhere in between place. But when you tell me what it did to him, how much it all messed up his life… It breaks my heart." She started to cry. Suddenly she looked up and stared at Meredith.

"What?" Meredith said, scared by the look on Cristina's phase.

"You didn't tell all of that to Olivia did you?" she asked scared of Mer's answer.

"I kinda did."

"Why would you do that? She is nine years old Meredith. NINE. She can't handle something like that. I know she seems very mature but in reality she is just a little girl who is, thanks to you, probably traumatized for life."

"Cristina I am really sorry. She came to me in the middle of the night asking all those questions and I don't know why I told her I just did. And I knew the second I finished that I shouldn't have. I really wish I could take it back but…"

"Yeah right, could've, would've, should've. I get it." She said her voice still filled with anger. Her little girl must be scared to death right about now.

"I am really sorry, please believe me. But she really needs you. You need to talk to her. And please be honest with her. She deserves it."

"I know. I'll try. But don't think you're forgiven for getting me into this mess."

Before Meredith could answer her phone went off. It was Derek. He was probably just telling her not to bring lunch because he already did. She put him on speaker.

"Hi honey, we're in the car right now. Do you want me to pick up lunch?"

"Meredith. Meredith where are you right now?" Derek said his voice sounding very nervous.

"Almost off the highway. Why?" Meredith asked worried. She looked over at Cristina. She looked worried too.

"Okay then turn around at the next exit and come to the hospital. As fast as you can."

"Derek I took the weekend off. I'm sure that whatever it is, they'll be able to handle it. I'm not the only general surgeon in this hospital."

"Meredith it's Olivia. She…" but before he could finish Cristina interrupted him.

"What? Is she okay? Talk to me Derek!" She almost screamed.

"Cristina?" Derek asked.

"You're on speaker." Meredith explained.

"Derek what happened?" Cristina asked again. The thought of her baby getting hurt made her feel sick to her stomach.

"They were playing baseball outside and somehow Olivia got hit by the bat. Right on the head. I called 911 right away and we're on our way to the hospital right now but she's still unconscious." Derek explained. Cristina's face went white.

"Okay we'll meet you there." She hung up and got off the highway. "She'll be fine Cristina. Derek's with her. It'll be fine."

"Is Owen working in the ER today?" she asked quietly.

"He's always working there but why does that matter? Oh. Oh damn it." She said as realized what was about to happen.

"What if she dies?" Cristina said with tears in her eyes.

"She won't. Do you hear me? Olivia is strong. She is your daughter. She's a fighter just like you. And you know maybe Kepner will be on her case and not Owen. Everything will be fine." She tried to sound calm but failed. She was scared to death too.

"What if he sees another one of his kids die in front of him?" She couldn't handle the thought. Meredith knew what she meant. She would never forgive herself if something happened to her and Owen wouldn't have gotten a chance to know her. It would kill both of them.

_**ER, Grey – Sloan Memorial Hospital**_

"Dr. Hunt. We have incoming. 2 minutes out." A nurse called out.

"Alright thank you." Owen answered and made his way to the entrance of the ER. He heard the sirens of the ambulance and closed his eyes. He remembered the day he was standing there watching them bring in Amelia, completely overdosed and barely alive. He shrugged. He shook off the thought as he heard the ambulance door opening. He walked towards it and was surprised to see Derek Shepherd jumping out. He looked at him with a confused look. Derek gave him an apologetic glance.

"Alright what do we have?" He asked.

"Nine year old female, head versus baseball bat. Obvious who won. Unconscious since we got her 15 minutes ago, and another 10 before that, coded once but we got her right back." The paramedic explained.

"Trauma 2." He ordered as he watched the gurney being rolled in. He didn't get a good look at the girl's face just yet. He turned around and looked at Derek.

"I'm so sorry Owen." He said.

"Sorry for what? Are you coming and helping? She has a head trauma so we'll need you."

"Yes, I'll be right there. Just give me a minute."

Owen was a little confused. Why was Derek acting so strange? And why did he apologize? What for? Maybe it had something to do with the little girl. He went in and saw that Arizona was already in there with her. He took a deep breath and walked in.

"Owen…" she said.

"What?" Why was everyone acting so weird because of this girl? He looked down at the kid on the table. Her hair way dark brown with a hint of ginger in it and very curly. Her features were vaguely Asian. She reminded him of someone. Especially her lips. The full lips he used to kiss so passionately. He froze. Was this… It couldn't possibly be. He looked at Arizona. Her eyes had the same apologetic look as Derek's.

"Name?" He asked.

"Rodriguez." An intern said and stepped forward.

"Not yours. The patients name. Do we have a name?" he asked a little pissed at the stupidity of the intern.

"Oh yeah sure sorry. Just let me get the chart. It's…" But before he could finish a woman burst into the trauma room. Owen looked up and thought he was seeing a ghost. He hadn't seen that beautiful face in a decade. His mouth dropped open. He looked at Arizona, who had her eyes closed. She took a breath, opened them and looked him straight into the eye.

"Olivia. Olivia Meredith Yang." Arizona said and watched Owen freeze.

**A/N: Cliffhanger! Hope you enjoyed it and leave a review. Please? **


	9. Shadow Of A Man

"Cristina?"

"Owen… I'm so sorry."

"What are you doing here?"

Everyone in the room was staring at Cristina who was crying and looking at her daughter. Derek was the first to move again.

"Okay you two save the drama for later, let's focus on helping Olivia. Any allergies we should know of?" He asked looking over to Cristina while examining Olivia.

"No. Not that I'd know of. She's never been in the hospital other than the day she was born I…" Cristina broke down sobbing in Meredith's arms. "Please don't let her die." She begged Derek.

"Cristina. Cristina look at me." He stepped over and silently told Arizona to continue with Olivia. "She won't die okay? She's strong and she's healthy. She'll be fine. But the best thing you can do for her right now is to leave this room and let us work. We'll let you know when we know more. You just try to calm down. In the waiting room." He was looking Cristina deep in the eyes. She nodded. Meredith took her hand and pulled her out of the trauma room.

"Did this just really happen?" Owen asked still perplex and frozen on the spot. He looked over at Derek to get reassurance that he hadn't just hallucinated his ex – wife storming into the trauma room. The love of his life he hadn't seen in 10 years.

"Cristina in here? I'm sorry to disappoint you but it did." He said while hooking up Olivia to a monitor.

"Why would I be disappointed?" Owen asked confused.

"Well I wasn't sure if you wanted to see her after what… she did to you."

Owen remained silent. He was too shocked about seeing Cristina again that he completely forgot about the girl on the table. Apparently the reason why Cristina came here at all. Who was she? A niece? No, he knew that Cristina didn't have any siblings and for a cousin she was too young, he thought. But they looked too similar to not be related. What was her last name again? He looked at the chart. He could feel the blood in his veins turn to ice. There was only one thing left. But it couldn't be. Not Cristina. After all they'd been through because of that… He couldn't bear the thought. But he had to know.

"So they are obviously related?" Owen asked trying to sound casual. Arizona and Derek exchanged a quick glance.

"Owen I think you should step out. We got this." Arizona said.

"She's right." Derek added. "You should go. Talk to Cristina. I bet you have a lot of catching up to do."

He didn't push back. He didn't have the strength for this right now anyway. How old was the little girl? Nine? He swallowed. It couldn't possibly be. He slowly made his way to the waiting room where he saw Cristina leaning on Meredith's shoulder with a tissue in her hand. Her eyes were swollen from crying. She looked miserable. They both did. He decided to step in anyway. When Cristina spotted him she immediately sat up straight.

"Any news?" She asked hopefully. The thought of Owen figuring out who Olivia was hadn't crossed her mind since she had set foot into the trauma room. But when she saw the look on his face, she remembered. She remembered that he shouldn't be in there with her daughter. His daughter. Their daughter. She knew that Derek and Arizona had probably kicked him out.

"I don't know anything, sorry. They kicked me out." He looked at her. Suddenly all the hurt, all the pain and all the love he had tried to hide over the past decade came up again. He couldn't help but wonder, was the little girl in the trauma room her daughter?

"This might sound mean but I'm actually glad you're not in there." She said trying to smile but failed.

"Why? Did Meredith tell you my oh so tragic life story and now you doubt my skills as a surgeon?" He asked, his voice dripping from sarcasm. She managed to smile a little.

"Well she did tell me and I am genuinely sorry. I really am. But I'm not, nor will I ever, question your surgical skills." She said looking at the floor. Everytime she thought of Owen's past ten years she felt horrible. Terrible. She felt like it was her fault. And it was. At least partly.

"Glad to hear. But I do feel like you know why they kicked me out. So is there anything you want, you need, to tell me?" He asked her and stared at her. When he looked him in the eyes he always felt like she could see to the bottom of his soul. Like there was nothing he could ever hide from her.

"Not really –"but she got interrupted by Meredith kicking her. "Well yes. There is. But not now. Not here." She said, her voice a little scared.

"I happen to know one thing. They're taking her up for a CT right now, so we'll have some time."

"If anything happens I'll let you guys know." Meredith interrupted. It was time for Owen to finally get the truth.

"Okay. But now here. Let's go someplace else." She said while standing up.

"Fine. I know a place where we'll be alone for sure."

"We're going to the vent aren't we?" Cristina said as soon as they had left the waiting room.

"You still know me well. Though, I haven't been there since you left. I couldn't… It made me miss you." He said quietly. It made Cristina happy and sad at the same time. She was happy because she felt like Owen saw it as sacred ground. A place just for them. But then she knew how much he loved the vent and she felt bad for leaving. She bit her lip. She was about to say something, but couldn't. It would only make it worse. He opened the heavy entrance door to the vent. They both went in and felt home again. She could feel the hot air gush through her hair and felt more alive again. For a second they both forgot about the past ten years and were just there. In the moment. Owen was the first to come back to reality.

"So Olivia… Is she..?" he started, not wanting to finish the sentence himself.

"My daughter. Yes." She knew he had suspected it. And there was pretty much no denying it.

"Well congrats I guess." He said his voice a little broken. He tried to cover it, but failed. She could hear the hurt in his voice and he hadn't even heard the worst part yet. She looked at him and knew that he thought it was some other guy's. She started to cry again.

"Thanks." Was the only thing she managed to say. They stared at eachother again. Neither of them wanted to break the silence. But then Cristina did.

"Go ahead. Say it. I know you want to."

"It's okay. I've been out of your life longer than I've been in it so you don't have to justify yourself. It's fine. You've moved on. I mean I did too but…"

"Owen I am so sorry. You have no idea how guilty I feel." A single tear rolled down her cheek. He hesitated but then he took her face into his hand and whipped the tear away with his thumb. As much as he wanted to be over her, as much as he needed it, he couldn't. And deep down he knew he could never be.

"It's not your fault. I know you think that because you think that if you wouldn't have left nothing of this would've happened. And you're right. It wouldn't have. But then, we probably wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't have your daughter." His voice broke again when he said those words. Cristina Yang, the woman that never ever wanted children had a daughter and him, the guy who seeked a family so desperately, had been denied the chance to fully experience it. The universe had just a thing for irony.

"Owen I…"

"Don't Cristina." He suddenly remembered. If she had a daughter, there had to be a dad. Maybe even a husband? He couldn't bear the thought of her being married again and have a family she had so stubbornly denied him. It broke his heart. Cristina could see what was going on inside him. He really was no longer the Owen she had left behind so many years ago. He was the broken soldier again. The guy that she had picked up from the floor, dead inside. There was only a shadow of him left. She knew that she was the only one who could get him out of his misery. And Olivia, maybe. But before she could say something he started again.

"Is there anyone you want me to call? Your… husband maybe?" He tried to sound innocent. Of course he would think that, Cristina thought. For him, a baby meant marriage. Well there had been once so Olivia wasn't completely out of wedlock.

"No. There's no one. But thanks." She said trying to show him that no one had been able to win her heart like he had.

"But her father… You should call him. I think he'd like to know." He took a breath. "I mean I'd like to know if my child was hurt." He stared at her.

"Oh don't worry he already knows." It wasn't a lie. He did know. He just didn't know the hurt child was his.

"Okay." There was a long pause again.

"Meredith told me everything. Today. The last thing she told me about you was that you were with Amelia and that…" She stopped when she saw his face. The memories of Amelia and the baby obviously brought back a lot of feelings. Hurt, pain, anger, love, loss. So much of everything that he wasn't able to consume it all. She could see a kind of pain in his eyes that scared her. He looked so broken, so completely and irreparably damaged. It broke her heart. As hard it was to admit, he was the love of her life. But the man who was standing in front of her today had almost nothing in common with the Owen she had married. And right in this moment all she wanted was to get that Owen back. The Owen who loved to wash her hair, the Owen who kissed every morning like a habit, as if there would be nothing more natural, the one who wanted to be her superman. The one who _was_ her superman. She desperately wished him back.

"I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to talk about it."

"No it's fine. But one question – why did she tell you now?"

"Because I wanted to know."

"Why now?" he asked again.

"Because of Olivia." She said trying to remain vague. She wasn't sure why she didn't want to tell him. There was no reason not to. It would probably be good for him too. But there was something inside of her that stopped her. After all she had raised Olivia alone for the past nine years, ten if you count pregnancy as raising. So maybe she wasn't ready to share her? Was that it? It was a silly reason but she just felt like she was completely hers. But she wasn't. And Cristina knew that, she did, it had just never come down to it. To the point where Owen would actually know about her existence. Maybe it was her who still wasn't ready.

_Cristina held her little girl close to her chest. It always calmed her down when she was crying. Usually she slept pretty well through the night but lately she was awake more often. She was still sleeping in Cristina's bed, most of the time at least. It was easier with breastfeeding. She still couldn't believe that she, Cristina Yang, most hardcore cardio goddess, was breastfeeding. But she did. She had decided that she would stop when Olivia would be a year old. But she wasn't full time breastfeeding anymore. So it was mostly the nights when the little girl liked to feel the warmth of her mother's body next to her as she ate. Cristina hated to admit it but she actually enjoyed it. It was an unimaginable feeling giving a baby, your baby, exactly what it needed. And you were the only one who possibly could. _

_She sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom. Olivia had calmed down a bit and was only whimpering a little._

"_Shhh, baby girl. It's alright. Mommy's here. I'm here. Everything is fine." She rubbed the baby's back. Olivia turned her face so that she could see her mother. She smiled a little. It made Cristina's heart melt. It was always amazing when she smiled at her. Like she knew exactly who she was. _

"_See? Everything's fine. You probably just had a nightmare." She stroke her head. Olivia put her tiny hand on Cristina's breast. She couldn't help but giggle._

"_Or that. Remember you only have two more months of that left and then we stop it okay? I can't be dripping breast milk during surgery anymore. That was okay when you were little but you have to start growing up a bit." She said as she pulled up her shirt and opened her bra. Olivia immediately started sucking, never losing eye – contact with her mother. _

"_But don't grow up too fast because I enjoy this as much as you do. Don't tell anyone though. I need them to believe that Mommy's still hardcore okay?" Olivia grinned again. Cristina kissed her on the head. Those were the moment's she would like to last forever. The perfect moments. The moments you just want to put into a jar, like jam, so that you could open it and smell them whenever you want._

"That doesn't really make sense to me." Owen pulled her out of her daydreams.

"I'm sorry. I was just…"

"Somewhere else?"

"Yeah."

"Well if you could clear it up a little I would be entirely grateful." He said a little sarcastic again.

"Meredith told her about you."

"What about me?"

Cristina remained silent. There was nothing else she could say to prevent the following from happening.

"Olivia… She is yours. She is your baby. Well not baby anymore, but still."

His mouth literally dropped open. Did he just hear her right? Was she really saying that he had a nine year old daughter he never knew about? Of course he was glad that she didn't keep some other guy's child while aborting his, but at the very second, he was just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with joy and anger at the same time. Why did she never tell him?

"Wait what?" he asked when he finally found his words again.

"You're her father. Derek and Arizona knew. I guess that's why they kicked you out." She was afraid to look at him. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see his face. Was he happy?

"So you're telling me that everyone knew except for me? They all knew and no one told me?" He raised his voice. This couldn't be real.

"No. No Owen, not at all. Only Meredith knew, until Friday. I dropped her off in Seattle because I had to go to Boston and didn't want to bring her. That's how Derek and the kids know. And Arizona and Callie… Well you have to ask Meredith how that happened. But they've known for a day so the only people you're allowed to blame are me and Meredith. Maybe not Meredith because I kind of made her keep it a secret." She spoke at a very fast pace so that Owen couldn't interrupt her.

"But why?" He asked tearing up a little. Had she been afraid to tell him? That would break his heart.

"Amelia." She said quietly. She had hoped to avoid that subject.

"But you and I… That was long before Amelia."

"Well not that long. I knew about Amelia's pregnancy before I knew about my own. I found out pretty late. Like 14th week or something."

"Yeah we knew about Amelia's pregnancy really early." He said quietly. She looked at the floor.

"You could've told me." He said.

"I know I just… I couldn't. I thought about putting her up for adoption," she stopped as she saw Owen's face. "only for a month or two! I realized that I couldn't. That was when I told Mer. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I was going to be a single mother and even longer to be happy about it. It was only when I held her in my arms for the first time that I realized that you were right all along. A baby isn't the worst thing in the world. I think, besides you, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"So I have a daughter? _We_ have a daughter?" He asked still not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Yeah we do." She said. He took her hand in his and pulled her closer into a tight hug.

"Thank you." He whispered in her ear.

"So you're not mad?" she asked.

"A little. But given the events from the past ten years, this is the only good thing that has happened to me in a very long time. Though I wish I could've been there for you."

"I know. And you would've been amazing but I think I needed to do it alone to realize that I needed her more than anything else."

"So that's what you were talking about in your acceptance speech?"

"How do you – "

"It's on YouTube." He grinned. She laughed.

"Right. And I really think that without her, I wouldn't have been able to do it. You know she gave me her honest opinions on everything and of course you'd think she doesn't know about any of it but I think that's what makes her smart. She just sees things the most logic way and that helped. Sometimes not knowing makes you know more than when you studied something your whole life. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah I do." They smiled at eachother. "You've changed."

"I have. But I like to think in a good way."

"I couldn't agree more. It just amazes me."

Suddenly the door opened and a familiar blonde hair stuck her head in.

"So this is the famous vent." Meredith said. They looked at eachother, a little embarrassed by all the memories they had shared in this particular room.

"I figured you'd be here."

"Anything new on Livie?" Cristina asked concerned.

"Minor brain bleed and a pretty bad concussion. But Derek says he probably won't have to operate. It'll stop itself. She'll be waking up any minute now." Meredith said with a smile on her face.

"Oh thank god." Cristina said as she exhaled in relief. She looked at Owen. He smiled, he was relieved too.

"Well Dr. Hunt, would you like to meet your daughter?" She said grinning.

"I would love nothing more." He said with a huge smile on his face. Maybe the universe had finally come around for them.

**A/N: I know it's a long chapter but I just couldn't stop haha. Anyway I hope you liked it and LEAVE A REVIEW! xoxo**


	10. Comes And Goes

"So she told you."

"Yeah she did."

"I'm surprised.

"Why?"

"You don't seem to be mad."

"Oh I am. I'm furious, but I figured that a child with a brain bleed was enough to handle. I can be mad and yell later. When I know she'll be okay."

"That's very grown up. I'm proud." Meredith grinned. They were standing outside Olivia's room, watching Cristina sitting by her bedside. They had decided that Cristina should prepare her before she met Owen. So here they were, leaning against the counter, waiting for Olivia to wake up.

"Well therapy's gotta be good for something."

"Right."

"You sure they can't see us from here?"

"Relax. She won't."

"It's weird."

"What?"

"Seeing Cristina with _her _child. All those years I imagined how it would be like. She and I having a family you know. I never thought it would happen."

"I know. It took me forever to get used to it. But when you meet her without Olivia, she's still the same Cristina. I was visiting them in Switzerland once and I offered to babysit so that she could go do a surgery. I watched her from the gallery and she was… Perfect. She was full of joy and I think she is still the same, even though her life has changed. I think that she needed to be alone with Olivia, to realize what it meant to be a mother. And she's pretty amazing. In both jobs. Honestly, I have no idea how she does it."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Owen was being quiet. It made him happy to hear how much Cristina loved her daughter and how she managed to have it all, well almost at least, but at the same time it deeply hurt him. He had decided to talk to Cristina again when Olivia was awake and okay. He looked at her from afar.

She was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Olivia was pretty tall but as slim as her mother, so the bed looked too big for her. She was still unconscious. Cristina was holding her hand and stroking her cheek. He could tell that she still had tears in her eyes.

_Inside the room_

She took her hand. Her fingers were similar to hers but she had inherited Owen's nails. But it didn't look weird, it looked right. Her hands were the hands of a future surgeon. Of course Cristina didn't want to pressure her to become a surgeon, but she still hoped she would choose that path.

"Oh my baby girl… I'm so sorry. I should've been there. Please wake up." She said sobbing, Olivia's eyes still closed.

She stroke her cheek. She just had to be okay. Cristina put her head down on the bed, trying to hide her tears. She knew that Owen and Meredith were probably watching her.

"Mom?"

Cristina raised her head and her eyes met Olivia's. She exhaled sharply.

"Livie. Oh god honey are you okay? Are you in pain?" Cristina asked as she jumped up.

"I'm fine. I think. I just have a headache, but I guess that's what happens when you get hit by a baseball bat." Olivia tried to smile. She knew that her mother was probably worried sick, so the least she could do was to show her that she was really okay.

"Thank god. When Derek called… If anything had happened I could've never…"

"Mom calm down. I'm fine. Really." She squeezed her mother's hand. They looked at eachother for a while, not wanting to start the awkward conversation that was about to happen.

"So Aunt Meredith told you some stuff huh?" She tried to sound casual but Olivia could hear her voice shaking a little.

"Yeah she did. Don't be mad at her though. I, we, made her tell me."

"So I've heard. You should've just talked to me. I could've helped you."

"Mom, as soon as I start talking about my father, you find an excuse to change the subject. You shut me out. And when Zola said she might know who my dad was… I just needed to know. I know you don't think I did the right thing, but I needed to know. And you would've never told me."

"If you'd asked I would've. I promise."

"Well it's a little late for that."

"I know. I've made a mistake, but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Really? You think that keeping me from my father was the right thing to do?" Olivia said angrily. Right now, she couldn't understand her mother. Was it too much to ask to be honest?

"Olivia. I know you don't understand, but I had no choice." Cristina tried to explain. She didn't want to fight but it seemed like there was no way around it.

"There's always a choice. You chose to keep me from my father, you chose to raise me alone, to hide me from all your friends. You were selfish and you know that."

"I was trying to protect you."

"Okay then answer me one question. What did you think would happen? That I would never ask about my father? That I'd grow up without any desire to know where I come from? Did you really believe that?"

"Of course not. I just hoped that you'd accept the fact that it was just us. I mean how was I supposed to tell you something like that? 'So Olivia you don't have a dad because I left him and he moved on and now he is happy with his new family and we're all alone.'? How was I supposed to tell you why your father wasn't around?"

"You should've just told me. The way I found out… And when Aunt Meredith told me what had happened to him… I needed you. I needed _you _to tell me, because I'm scared. His life has been horrible. And I feel responsible for that." Olivia started to cry.

"Oh honey you're the last person whose fault this is. If it's anyone's, it's mine." She sat down on the bed and pulled her daughter into a hug.

"Meredith told me you were married once. What happened?" Livie said looking up at her mother.

"Olivia I really don't think…" Cristina started but Olivia pulled away and glared at her.

"See? You shut me out. You never tell me anything about your past. But I have a right to know."

"It's in the past. I've changed, he's changed. We both made mistakes and it was best for everyone."

"Mom please. He's my dad. And I know you still love him."

"Well how do you know that?" Cristina asked with a little smile.

"You still have your wedding picture in your desk. You don't keep something like that if you're not still thinking of him." Olivia explained to her mother. Cristina couldn't help but smile. Her daughter was way too smart.

"You're right. I think of him every day. But not because I love him, I mean I do, but not like before."

"Before what?"

"Before you. You are a lot like me, but there are some things you have or do that remind me of him. I look at you and I see Owen." She stroke a curl out of Olivia's face.

"But everyone says I look exactly like you." Olivia asked confused.

"I know, and you do look a lot like me, but if they'd know your dad, they'd see it too."

"You changed the subject again." Olivia stated looking a little pissed.

"What?" Cristina was confused. How'd she changed the subject?

"I asked you why you got divorced."

"Olivia that's really not important."

"You told me once, that if there was ever a question I had no answer to, I shouldn't rest until I got my answers. Now I want my answers please."

"You're right, I said that. But I don't think those answers are gonna help you."

"I'm saying please. I'm a Yang. I don't say please." Cristina chuckled. Her daughter knew her well.

"Right. I definitely raised you wrong."

"Nah, I think you did a pretty good job."

"Well thanks. You know I told your father about you. He was working on you when you came in the ER."

"Wow. I don't know what to say…"

"He wants to meet you."

"Well… I kinda want to meet him too, but I'm a little scared. How do I know he'll like me?"

"Oh baby he'll love you. Because you're perfect."

"I want you to tell me first. I really want to know."

"Livie…"

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"I mean if this is really what you want, I will, but I don't think it's important for you to know."

"I think it is."

"Okay then… I have to tell you that when we got married I was… Well I wasn't me. There was a shooting in the hospital and I operated on your Uncle Derek with a gun to my head. So I wasn't really… Reliable. But your father was there and I was scared and confused so when he asked me to marry him I said yes. But we weren't happy for long. We kept tearing eachother apart. We wanted different things."

"Like what?"

"Well he wanted a baby and I didn't." Cristina wanted to leave the abortion out of it. She didn't want to tell Olivia because she was afraid that she'd think she wanted to abort her too. And that was not something you'd want to hear. Even if it was a little bit true.

"But you had me…"

"Yes and I am so glad I did because you showed me that I could have it all. You taught me how to be the best I could. And I thank god for that every day." She took Olivia's hand.

"Why? Why did you change your mind?"

"I have to be honest – you weren't planned. You left me no choice but to keep you." Cristina smiled.

"So you got divorced because you were fighting about having a child without ever actually dealing with being pregnant?" Cristina was quiet. She didn't want her daughter to know. She knew she'd resent her. She wouldn't understand.

"Well not exactly."

"Mom…"

"I was just starting my last year of residency, I was on top of my game, I just… Couldn't. I didn't know any better. I need you to know that I wouldn't trade you for anything."

"Did you have an abortion?" Olivia asked with tears in her eyes. Cristina was surprised and hurt that her daughter even knew what an abortion was.

"Yes I did."

"And he didn't want you to."

"He wanted the baby. But in the end he supported me, at least he pretended to. Just at some point I realized that we weren't good for eachother. We kept hurting the other one. So I left."

"I still don't understand why you didn't just abort me too. I mean you were all alone."

Hearing those words made Cristina feel like she'd just been stabbed with a knife. It brought her actual, physical pain. She started to tear up.

"Oh Olivia you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think I just wasn't ready before. But you have to believe me when I tell you you're my everything. I love you. So much."

"I know you said that."

"Livie please don't hate me."

"I don't… I just need time to think okay? Can you give me that?"

"Sure I can. But don't take too long because I haven't seen you in three days. I missed you."

"Yeah I missed you too." Cristina planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

When she closed the door behind her she caught Owen's gaze. She walked over to him.

"I told her. Everything about us. And now she hates me." She said sobbing.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She just needs time." Meredith said rubbing Cristina's back. Owen just stood there, completely silent.

"Cristina I need to talk to you." He suddenly said, his expression cold as ice.

"Sure, yeah." This time Owen didn't take the time to go all the way to the vent, he just pulled her into an exam room.

"Are you really okay? Because you seem upset." She said looking at him.

"No. No I'm not. I tried to play nice before because we didn't know what was going on with Olivia, but now… I just can't."

"Owen you can yell. It's alright. I deserve it."

"I – I can't stop wondering. What happened? All those years when I… When I was fighting for my family, my life… I keep going through all those memories and I wonder, when I buried my son, were you cuddling with her in your bed? When I tried to convince my wife to stop doing drugs, did you hug her proudly because she took her first step and spoke her first word? When I took Amelia off life – support did you bring her to her first day of kindergarten? When I was fighting for my life in Iraq, were you taking a picture of her on her first day of school? When I came back, a total wreck, were you showing her a beach for the first time? And then I think, were you even there? For all those first things in her life. Were you there? Or were you working? Was she happy? Is she happy? Or did she cry herself to sleep every night because her mother wasn't there to read her a goodnight story?"

"Owen stop. Stop it. You have every right to hate me, but you can't go around accusing me of being a bad mother. I did my best. I still am doing my best. Because she deserves it. I love her. And I was there. For all those firsts I was there. I was with her when she first smiled, we were in the park when she took her first step at 13 months, her first word was on two days after her first birthday and it was 'Momma' which made me endlessly proud and on her first day of kindergarten I stayed with her the whole time because she was afraid to be alone. I took a million pictures on her first day of school because she was so excited and I was home every night and told her about my day because the random child stories bored her. I was there. And I'm sorry you weren't but I was. I was because I was a good mother to her. And you don't get to judge me." She almost screamed as she walked away. How could he do this? Again. Pretending to be fine with everything and then… She made her way to an empty supply closet and broke down crying.

**A/N: I told you it was just the calm before the storm. More to come. Please leave a review. xoxo**


	11. Someone Who's Suffered

**A/N: So this chapter is pretty intense… I almost cried while writing it lol. So consider yourself warned.**

"If I tell you what happened today… You'd never believe me. I mean I don't even believe it myself. Cristina came back. Well not back, but she came to Seattle. To pick up her daughter. Yeah you heard me right. I said daughter. You can guess how that makes me feel. I mean you called it. But it's not only Cristina's daughter. She's mine too. She's nine, so I didn't cheat on you. But you know that. Anyway her name is Olivia. She's beautiful. She looks so much like Cristina. And Cristina… she's a fabulous mother. I never imagined she'd love a child _that _much. She told me she is home every night. I kinda don't believe her. I mean Cristina Yang, being home for dinner every night? I know… Sounds crazy. But I think everything is just upside down right now. I mean here I am, all alone, talking to you. And she… She has the life I always wanted. Isn't that just unfair? Not just unfair to me but to you too. If I'd known… Imagine all the hurt it would've saved us. Don't think I regret anything. Because I don't. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. I don't regret a single thing. It took me a long time to be okay with what happened… to us. Though I don't think I'll ever be completely over it. I mean how am I supposed to? I lost everything. And I believe you're in a better place now. At least I hope so. Because the way we were after… It could only be better. So I envy you a little. But only a little. Because Meredith said once, there has to be a reason why I'm still alive. She said that somewhere along the road, I'll know the reason. And now I do. My daughter. Even if I'm mad at Cristina, I yelled at her but I had to she deserved it, she'll always be the love of my life. I don't want to hurt you by saying that, but I think you knew it all along. No, I know you knew. You called it. And I'm sorry for hurting you. I'll never forgive myself for not being able to help you. And I did love you. I really did. But you and I both know that Cristina always was and always will be the one."

He stood up straight and put his hand on the gravestone. It had become a habit of his, coming here. He felt an obligation. And it helped. Most of the time at least. Graves were good listeners. And he needed someone to just listen right now. And she was always there for him. He walked towards the gates and turned around and looked at the grave one last time.

_Amelia Shepherd – Hunt_

_1982 – 2018_

_Beloved wife, sister, daughter and mother_

_Christian Ryan Hunt_

_2015 – 2016_

_Our beautiful boy taken home too soon_

"I'm sorry but I have to move on." And with that he turned around and left.

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"_Amelia please. Please look at me. Look at me." She continued to stare at the wall. No sign of life in her eyes. If she wouldn't be sitting up straight and breathing, she could easily be dead. But she basically was. What difference did it make, she was dead on the inside, leaving her empty body behind. And it killed him. It killed him to see what had happened to her. What he had done to her. _

_He took her face into his hands and made her look at him. She just continued to stare at him. No reaction whatsoever. _

"_Amelia. You need to talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. I can't do it anymore. Please." His voice broke and he almost started to cry. _

"_If you don't stop doing drugs, I'll have you admitted. It was okay right after he… But it's not okay anymore. You're hurting yourself. You're hurting Derek. You're hurting me. Please let me help you." He shook her, hoping it would make her talk, not bearing her silence any longer. _

"_No." She simply said. It was barely hearable but she said it._

"_What?"_

"_No. I said no. You don't get to tell me what to do. You have no right. You have no idea what I've been through…" She said, her voice getting louder with every word. He interrupted her angrily. _

"_What you've been through? You realize he was my son too, right? And I do get to do this because I'm your husband. I promised to be there, for better or for worse. And this is worse. I think this is the worst it can get, and I am still here. I am here because I vowed to you that I'll stay."_

"_Oh so it's about a promise you made to me only because you knocked me up? Fine. Go. Leave. There is no reason to stay anymore." She said breaking out in tears of hurt, anger and grief._

"_I did not marry you because you were pregnant. I married you because I loved you. And I still do."_

"_Bullshit." Amelia screamed, "You and I both know that we were eachother's rebound person. There was no love. It was just you and me, missing the people we were supposed to be with. And we took it too far and you felt bad. That was it."_

"_No. No. It may have started out that way, but you have no idea how I felt."_

"_Of course I do. Owen I do. Because I felt the same way." She stood up and took his face into her hands. Usually this was a soft, warm gesture, but right now, it felt like she was trying to make him say it. Like she was trying to make him leave. To tell her that everything they were was just a lie. _

"_Amelia, believe me or not, I do love you." He said tearing up a little. Deep in his heart he knew she was at least partially right._

"_When she left, when she left you, you were devastated. You were broken, you were depressed. And I was there, in the same situation. I was there and I pulled you out. You pulled me out. And I hate you for that. I hate you for being there, because if you hadn't been… I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have buried my son. Again. I wouldn't be here. And it's all your fault." Owen knew she was high, but her words still hurt him. He knew it was the drugs talking, but hearing her say that… It tore him apart. He knew it was even harder on her, because she had lost a kid before, but that didn't mean he wasn't devastated too. _

"_You don't get to do this. You don't get to say that. It's not my fault. It's no one's fault." He grabbed her arm. "Get up." He said. She just stared at him again, tears in her eyes._

"_Get. Up. And pack a bag I'm taking you to a facility. I let you do this because you were grieving. But that? It's enough. I'm done. I'm done being the grown up. I need to grieve too."_

"_I'm not leaving."_

"_Yeah you are. I can't help you anymore. And none of that is my fault. But if you kill yourself because I was too much of a coward to get you real help, that would be my fault. I love you, and you don't destroy the person you love." She got up and looked him right into the eye. The expression on her face was scary, it was a mix of anger, hate and disgust. But he did his best to remain strong. _

"_You don't love me. You will always love her. She is the only one that could ever possibly make you happy. And you have no idea how hard it is to try and live up to her standards, knowing you'll never reach them. You'll never even get close. It's the worst thing someone can do to you." She hissed and walked past him towards the bathroom. He just stood there, frozen on the spot. He didn't realize what she was up to until it was too late. Before he could grab her she slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. _

_She opened the drawer and took out a bottle of pills. She looked at them. They could make it stop. She opened the bottle and poured out a handful. They would make this feeling go away. On the other side of the door Owen was screaming for her to stop, but she didn't listen. She swallowed them. She'd be free again. She took the remainder of the bottle and swallowed it too. Soon, she'd be done with everything. With everyone. She could already feel the dizziness crawling up through her body. Seconds later she collapsed on the floor. It was finally over. The last thing she heard was Owen sobbing on the other side of the door. She knew he was done too. _

"Owen are you alright?" Derek asked concerned.

"Yeah I just came from Amelia's and Christian's grave."

"Oh boy. You need to get over them. I know how hard it was but she was my sister. I know how painful it was."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I really am Derek if I just…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Amelia did that all to herself. There was nothing that could've prevented that. And you need to come to terms with that because it's not healthy. It's not healthy Owen." Owen closed his eyes.

"It was my fault though." He said and walked away before Derek could say anything else.

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"Cristina! What happened?" Derek asked seeing his wife's person sitting in a supply closet, sobbing, Meredith sitting next to her.

"Owen yelled at her and Olivia isn't talking to her." Meredith explained. That made Cristina just cry harder. She knew she deserved it, but she still wished everything would just go back to normal.

"Oh. Oh. I'm sorry. But if it makes you feel any better, I think Owen feels pretty bad." He said trying to cheer her up. She looked at him.

"H – How d – do you k – know?" Cristina said trying to calm her voice.

"I just saw him and he looked pretty wrecked. He told me he just came back from Amelia's and Christian's grave." Derek explained. Cristina looked confused.

"Christian?"

"Their son." Meredith said silently.

"Oh." Cristina started to sob again. Meredith rubbed her back trying to calm her down a little.

"Tomorrow everything's gonna be better, you'll see. They both just need a day to cool off. I mean that was quite a bomb you dropped on them." Meredith said.

"I just fell like this is all my fault." Cristina said again.

"Funny, he says the same thing." Derek said trying to lighten up the mood a little. And he failed.

"Cristina we've talked about this. It's no one's fault." Meredith said sending a glare in Derek's direction.

"I know…"

"You have to stop blaming yourself. Same goes for Owen. And Olivia. You guys have a savior complex – seems to run in the family." Meredith said.

"She's right. It's not helping anyone." Derek agreed. Now it was Cristina's turn to glare.

"I do not have a savior complex."

"Yeah you do. But that's not a bad thing. Well sometimes. But not all the time." Meredith grinned.

"I do not."

"Oh come on, you're a surgeon. A surgeon without one… Not really a safe bet." They all smiled.

"Okay maybe I do. But Owen's is bigger."

"True." Meredith smiled.

"Okay I think I should go talk to Olivia again. Maybe she's calmed down." Cristina said easing herself up.

"What did you tell her by the way?" Derek asked curiously.

"Everything." Cristina said.

"Everything?" Derek looked at her, confused.

"From their wedding day until the day she left." Meredith said gritting her teeth.

"You didn't tell her about the abortion, did you?" Derek asked shocked.

"I did. Don't." She said raising her hand to shut Derek up.

"Cristina she's nine years old."

"I know that. Don't you think I know that?" Cristina answered angrily.

"Why would you tell her that? I can't imagine what she must be thinking."

"Thank you Derek. You're really helpful." She said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry I just don't understand why you'd…"

"I don't understand myself lately." Cristina sighed.

"Okay, it's too late now anyway. Let's go say good night to Olivia and drive home. I think we all need some sleep. And food. Plus Bailey and Zola must be really worried." Meredith suggested.

"I don't know… I'd rather stay. Just in case." Cristina said hesitantly.

"We'll be here really early tomorrow okay? She won't even know you left."

"I'm gonna go ask her."

They made their way to Olivia's room, Cristina's eyes still a little puffy from crying. When they approached her room Cristina turned around.

"Thank you. I'll be right back."

She opened the door and slipped inside. Olivia was staring at the ceiling. She turned her head when she heard the door opening. When she realized it was her mother she looked back at the ceiling. Cristina tried to hold back her tears.

"Hey baby. How are you feeling?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"Fine."

"Good. So I was gonna come to say good night. I'm gonna go sleep at Mer's tonight. Unless you want me to stay with you." She asked hopefully.

"No it's fine. Leave. It's what you do best."

"Oh Livie… How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry?" Cristina said in the most apologetic voice she could. She was a little angry.

"Don't okay? You've already apologized. I can't hear it anymore."

"Okay."

She stood there in silence for a couple of minutes.

"I thought you wanted to leave?"

"They could set up a bed for me in here if…"

"It's fine. I'm old enough to spend a night without you."

"I know. I just wished you weren't growing up so fast." She said and stepped closed and stroke her daughter's hair. Finally Olivia looked at her. She had tears in her eyes.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey?"

"Are you going to leave me just like you left everybody else?" She asked her voice breaking.

"Oh baby no. No. No. I am never ever going to leave you. I promise. I'll always be there." She said and pulled her daughter into a tight hug. Tears started rolling down her face. _Are you going to leave me just like you left everybody else?_ It broke her heart. Did she really leave everyone? Maybe she just hadn't realized how much she had hurt everyone.

"Can you lie with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course. I'll have them set up a bed for me."

"No… Just stay with me until I fall asleep and then you can go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Cristina took off her shoes and climbed into the bed. She wrapped her arms tightly around Olivia. Her daughter was turned towards her so her face was buried in her chest. She was still sobbing a little, but with every minute she lay there it got better. Cristina held her daughter until she was sure that she was asleep, then she eased herself off the bed, careful not to wake her. She planted a kiss on her forehead and mumbled and 'I love you' into her ear before she left the room.

She stepped outside and saw Meredith leaning on the counter talking to Owen. She sighed. She didn't have the strength to get in another fight today.

"Hey. Where's Derek?"

"Oh he left already. It's late and Zola and Bailey needed something to eat."

"Okay. Well she's sleeping now so we can go now."

"I thought we could maybe stay a little longer? I could check on some patients and you and Owen could talk."

"We already have." She said her voice cold as ice.

"Cristina I know what I said today… I was just hurt. But I want to talk. Actually talk, no yelling, no accusing. Promise."

"Owen I'm really tired, it's been a long day…"

"Ten minutes? Please."

"Okay. But really only ten."

"Thank you."

"Okay I'm going to leave you two. See you out front in 15?" Meredith asked Cristina.

"Yeah sure."

They walked into the on – call room on the peds floor. Owen opened the door to let her in. Everything still looked the same.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Cristina asked, straightforward because she was exhausted and had no energy to have a pointless conversation.

"Tell me about her."

"What?"

"Tell me about her. Olivia. Your daughter. Our daughter."

"Uh okay." Cristina was surprised. She had been prepared for another fight.

"I'm listening."

"Well, her name is Olivia Meredith Yang, she speaks three languages fluently, English, German and French, she's nine years old, her birthday is February 16th 2015, she was a pretty tall baby, if you can call a baby tall I don't know. I was in labor for like 20 hours, so thank you for that, it definitely wasn't fun." Owen smiled a little. "Meredith was there though. I don't think I could've done it without her." She could see in Owen's face that it hurt him that he hadn't been there.

"Anyways, she was a really good baby. She was almost sleeping through the nights. I was breastfeeding until she was a year old. Don't laugh. It's what was best for her. Uh I was on maternity leave for a month, then I started to work again, mostly administrative duties though. Ross was and still is a great help. He always babysitted when I had a surgery. She spoke before she could walk because she is really smart, just like you. And me. But I already told you about that."

"You can tell me again." He said smiling shyly.

"Her first word was 'Momma', two days after her first birthday. Meredith was there, so she heard it too. She took her first step at pretty much 13 months exactly, we were in the park and suddenly she stood up and walked away. It was pretty funny actually." She had to laugh at the hilarious memory of her one year old daughter just walking away from her.

"I tried not to spoil her but she still needed me to stay the whole time for her first day of kindergarten. That was…" she was interrupted by Owen's laugh. The thought of Cristina being stuck with a bunch of children for a whole day was very entertaining.

"Yeah well it wasn't fun. But I did it for Olivia. I still don't want to do it ever again. I still have nightmares sometimes." She chuckled. They both knew she was exaggerating a little.

"She loves a good competition. So she's like me that way, but she isn't as messy as I am, plus she's probably a better cook than me. She got that from you. Also she can be really stubborn, which I believe she got from the both of us." She stepped a little closer to Owen who was sitting on the bed listening, taking in every word she said.

"Go on. I want to know everything there is to know about my daughter." He smiled, a little seductively. Cristina wasn't sure what game he was playing. She bent down and put her hands on his knees.

"She is way too smart for her age, which makes it difficult to determine how much you can actually tell her without telling her too much." Their heads were only inches away from eachother. His breath became more rapid. After all those years she still had the same effect on him.

"What else?" He whispered.

"She is very passionate, just like their parents." She said softly, her nose touching his. How much she had missed him…

"Oh yes her parents are very passionate." He agreed while taking her head into his hands. Before she could say anything else he grabbed her, threw her on the bed and kissed her passionately. When their bodies met again, after ten years it felt like everything was falling into place. All the fights from earlier were forgotten and the heat of passion took over. It was just like coming home.

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They were under the blanket snuggled against eachother, just like they did all those years ago. He looked deep into her eyes. She stroke his cheek.

"Looks like you didn't forget." She chuckled.

"Forget what?"

"How to satisfy me." She grinned.

"Oh how could I ever. I know how to push your buttons." He grinned seductively.

"That you do." She said and went back to looking at him again. His hair was definitely whiter and you could see the pain of the past decade in his wrinkles. But underneath all that he was still the same Owen. And she was still the same Cristina, somewhere deep down.

"I can just give everything right back at you." She smiled. Of course.

"When I found out that I was pregnant and that I couldn't have an abortion… I was scared to death. I thought I was making the biggest mistake in my life by keeping her. Until I held her for the first time. It was like magic." She whispered. She felt like she needed to say it. Like she needed to tell him that she didn't just change her mind. That it took a long time to come to terms with everything.

Owen remained silent. He knew what she was talking about. He knew that she wanted him to hear that she had no choice. That she had needed the push. It was the most honest thing she could've said.

"Amelia's last words to me were that she hated me because I was subconsciously comparing her to you and she could never live up to that. She said you were the only person I could ever love…" His voice broke. Cristina looked at him and it broke her heart seeing him like this. She instinctively knew that she was the first person he had ever told this.

"Owen… I'm so –"

"Don't apologize. I've heard it a million times."

"Yeah I know."

They just lay there for a couple of minutes until Cristina got up and dressed herself. Meredith was waiting.

"She was right though." He said as she left the room. She just closed the door, pretending not to have heard his words. She couldn't do it to him again. But it seemed like it was too late already.

**A/N: I hope you liked it and it wasn't too much. Let me know in the reviews!**


	12. Crossing Bridges

"There you are. Took you long enough."

"Sorry." Cristina said as she slipped into the car. Meredith looked at her.

"Oh no you did not."

Cristina was quiet. She knew that it would take Meredith less than a second to figure out what had happened between her and Owen.

"Cristina Yang, tell me you did not sleep with Owen Hunt."

"Look, it wasn't planned or anything I mean this morning he was being a complete ass and now he…"

"Cristina! What in god's name were you thinking?"

"I don't know okay? I have no idea. He just has that weird effect on me… What was I supposed to do?"

"Uh I don't know, walk out or talk or something but definitely not jump into bed with him!"

"Meredith! Can we just please get going now? I want to get some sleep before I have to come back tomorrow. I don't want to miss it when they do rounds on Olivia."

"Fine. But I am a multitasker. I can talk and drive at the same time."

"It would've been a miracle if you'd have dropped this already."

"I'm serious. What the hell happened? I mean like 10 hours ago you two were ripping each other apart."

"I know. It confuses me too. But he was all like 'Tell me about our daughter' and then one thing lead to another…"

"So you were actually talking about Olivia. I guess that's something."

"Not for long though."

"Well at least you talked at all."

"I guess."

They both didn't know what to say. It had been a very long day. Owen finding out about Olivia, Owen yelling at her, Olivia not talking to her and then this… The on – call room. To be honest she was a little embarrassed. She felt like she was too old to do it in an on – call room. But apparently she wasn't. He made her feel young again.

"It was amazing though."

"I am your best friend but I really don't think I want to hear this…"

"No, it wasn't like before. It was more like… I don't even know how to describe it. All those years I thought of him. Of us. The way we were. But I think I forgot how it actually was. It's not just sex… It's that feeling of pureness and honesty and love he gives me when…"

"Okay I think I have to turn up the radio now."

"Very funny. I'm trying to talk to you here."

"I get it. You and Owen did the nasty – nasty and now you're like all in love again and…"

"I am not in love with him again."

"Oh stop pretending. Owen only needs to look at you and you're ready to tear your clothes off."

"Okay now you make me sound like a slut. Which I'm not. If one of us is a slut then you."

"Correction – I was a slut. Past tense." Meredith grinned at the memory of her, well, a little troubled past.

"Right. We're both grown up now. Most of the time at least." Cristina smiled. She never imagined being in this place. Living on the other side of the world, with a daughter she had kept a secret for almost ten years.

"Yeah I guess we are. I am more than you, given the fact that I'm not my hiding kids from the love of my life." She smirked. It was just way too easy to tease her.

"Can we please not go there? I know I screwed up okay? I know that. And now I'm trying to fix it."

"Oh so that what sleeping with Owen was about? You fixing it?"

"Meredith! I need you to be on my side here."

"I am on your side. I'm your person, I'm always on your side." Meredith reached for Cristina's hand and squeezed it to reassure her that whatever happened she would at least have her.

"Thank you." Cristina said with a teary voice.

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The next morning Cristina borrowed Meredith's car to get to the hospital as early as possible. Meredith still had one day off and Derek's shift didn't start until the afternoon, so she had to go by herself. Even though she left early she missed morning rounds and stumbled into Olivia's room just as the doctors left.

_Damn it._ She thought. Now she'd have to find someone to tell her what's going on and that was not an easy thing to do, especially not this early in the morning. When all the doctors had left she could see Olivia. Next to her sat a familiar looking man who would probably rip her head off in a few seconds.

"Well if this isn't the one and only Cristina Yang. I haven't seen you in what? Ten years?"

She smirked. He still looked the same, just a little grayer around the temples. And she noticed the ring on his hand.

"Alex Karev." She said as she stepped forward to hug her old friend.

"So you didn't think your daughter was worth mentioning all those years?" He whispered into her ear as they hugged. Cristina tensed up a little. Facing all those people from her past who had had no idea about Olivia was harder than she had anticipated.

"I'm sorry." Was all she whispered back. She turned around and walked towards her daughter who was watching the whole scene.

"Hi honey how are you feeling? I see you met Alex. He's one of my oldest friends." She bent forward and planted a kiss on Olivia's forehead and sat down on the bed next to her.

"Hey. I'm fine. They said I could go home tonight. But I don't think we'll catch our flight…"

"Oh baby don't worry about that. I already cancelled it. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"I am." Cristina handed her daughter a bag with a donut and a big fluffy teddy bear in it.

"Aw thank you Mom! He's so cute. I love him." She said as she pressed the bear to her chest.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it." She reached out to press her daughter against her chest. She held her as tightly as she could. She loved her so much it hurt. She just wanted everything to be okay again.

"I love you. I love you so much Livie."

"I love you too Mom. But I have trouble breathing when you're squeezing me like that."

"Sorry." Cristina said and pulled away. She wiped a tear from her face.

"Mom don't cry. Everything's fine."

"Okay." Cristina said her voice cracking. She was just overwhelmed by her feelings right at that moment.

"Olivia would you mind if I took your mom with me for a sec? I need to talk to her about something."

"Sure. Talk to her. She needs to be comforted I think." She grinned a little and squeezed her mother's hand.

Alex grabbed Cristina's hand and pulled her out of the room. There was no doubt, he was really angry.

"You better start explaining. I had the day off yesterday so imagine me going on rounds and then hearing the intern say 'Olivia Meredith Yang' before I even get a chance to look at her. I almost killed the poor intern when I ripped the chart from his hands."

"I'm sorry Alex. I should've told you. I just…"

"Was too busy to ever call or email or text? I thought you had just cut us all off. And now I have to find out that Meredith knew the whole time and hasn't said a word. I could kill the both of you right now."

"Alex I get that you are angry. I mean everyone's angry at me and by now I think the whole hospital knows so you could all just get to together. Would save me some time." She hissed.

"Well I think a bunch of people are gonna yell at you today. Oh I wanna be there when you run into April. And Hunt. Oh my god he's gonna kill you when he found out that you had another man's baby."

"Except that I didn't."

"What do you mean? Wait you're saying she's…"

"Owen's daughter, yes. And he already knows don't worry. So does April they were both in the ER when they brought her in."

"Oh. Wow. You're so screwed you know that right?"

"Yes thank you."

"I've missed you, you know. I wanted to invite you to my wedding but… I had no idea where you were and Mer pretended like she didn't either so…"

"It's fine. Really. I made you believe that I just stopped caring about you. I had no right being there. But congratulations to you and Wilson." She smiled.

"Oh I didn't marry Jo. I admit I was about to propose but we just didn't work…"

"I'm sorry to hear that. But wait who did you get married to then?" She asked confused but curious. Alex mumbled indistinctively.

"Spit it Evil Spawn. It can't be worse than what I did."

"Fine."

"I'm listening…"

"Izzie. I married Izzie. She showed up about three years after you left. Jo couldn't handle it so she left and things between me and Izzie… Just happened."

"Wait we're talking about Izzie Stevens right?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Why did she come back?"

"She wanted to ask me if I would mind if she used the embryos we froze. She wanted a baby but didn't want to do it without me knowing. Other than you she included the father of her child."

"Don't change the subject. What did you say?"

"I said yes. I mean it was her only chance to have a baby herself. Who was I to say no?"

"Oh Alex. Of course Jo couldn't handle that. I feel bad for her."

"Don't. It was actually for the better. We didn't work. It was always this weird on and off thing like you and Hunt had and we both know how that turned out…"

"Yeah. I mean if you're happy then that's all that matters."

"I am. I really am. We're really happy. Oh and we have two sons, Jimmy and Denny. Six and four. Third one's on the way. Izzie hopes it'll be a girl this time."

"Wow. I mean… Wow. I'm so happy for you Alex." She pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks. I'm looking forward to what Izzie has to say about you and Hunt's love child."

"Oh dear god she's gonna kill me."

"Probably. Avoid OB if you don't want to run into her."

"Thanks for the tip. Okay I have to back in now, she'll think I forgot about her. We had a rough couple of days."

"I imagine. Good luck."

Cristina turned around and walked back into Livie's room.

"Did he yell at you?" Was the first thing she said with a grin on her face. Cristina was extremely relieved that Olivia seemed to take things better after a good night's sleep.

"A little. But it's okay. I deserve it." She smiled.

"So when am I gonna meet Owen?" She asked actively avoiding the word 'dad'.

"You want to meet him?"

"Of course I do. I mean you said he wanted to meet me too so…"  
"Yeah I mean sure. I'll get him. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I think yesterday was just too much at once. But I'm okay now. Plus I can't really change anything so I might as well make the best out of it."

"You know, sometimes you act more grown up than me." She said as she ruffled through her daughter's hair.

"I know. I mean you never really treated me like a kid."

"Hey I did treat you like a kid. Just a slightly older kid."

"Okay. We'll leave it like that."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. They turned their heads and saw a redhead sticking his head in.

"Hi. You had me paged?" He said shyly, looking at Olivia.

"Hey. Come in. Olivia there's someone I want you to meet. This is Owen Hunt. He's your father."

Olivia's eyes grew a little wider. It was finally here. The moment she'd been waiting for almost her whole life. She smiled a little.

"Owen this is Olivia, your daughter."

"Hi." Olivia said quietly.

"Hello. I'm sorry that I'm only meeting you now."

"Yeah me too." Owen sat down on the bed, next to Cristina. It was weird. All of them sitting there together, like a family. Cristina was a little tense.

"Okay I'm gonna give you two some alone time. I'll just be outside if you need me." Cristina stood up but Olivia grabbed her hand. She looked into her eyes and for the first time Cristina felt like she was looking at a little, scared girl. It made her heart melt. Olivia had always been so grown up that she never showed how much she actually needed her mother.

"Mommy don't go." She whispered. Cristina bent down so she was on the same eye level as Olivia. She squeezed her hand and looked deep into her daughter's eyes.

"You don't have to be scared. He is… He is the most loving, most loyal, most amazing man I've ever met and you are lucky that he is your dad. So you'll be fine. I know you think you need for this, but I think it's better if you get to know eachother without me here."

"Mom…"

"However, if you really should need me I'll be right outside. You'll even be able to see me from here. Deal?"

"Okay."

"Okay." Cristina pulled her into her embrace and whispered and 'I love you' into her ear and left. Owen admired the scene happening in front of him. Of course he didn't want his daughter to be scared of him, but seeing Cristina comforting her, assuring her that she would be there if she needed her, telling her that she loved her, was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. Even in his wildest dreams he didn't imagine Cristina being that understanding and loving. But now he knew she could be and he started to think of what they could be again. Maybe, just maybe they could rekindle their relationship and become a happy little family. That thought made him smile. How perfect they could be…

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"_Dr. Yang are you okay?" Ross asked concerned as he stared at a crying Cristina sitting behind her desk. As soon as she realized he was in the room she grabbed a tissue and pretended to be fine._

"_Yeah. I'm fine…" But her voice told a different story._

"_No you're not. What happened?"_

"_Shane just leave. I'm okay. Nothing to worry about."_

"_You're crying. I'm worried." _

_She started to laugh hysterically. How the hell did she get in this position again? And this time there was no getting out. What do they say? Third time's a charm?_

"_Dr. Yang, Cristina, what is it? If you tell me maybe I can help."_

"_You can't help me. No one can. I'm completely alone. I'll have to do it by myself. This is just so ironic…" She chuckled but the tears kept streaming down her face._

"_Hey you're not alone. I know you think you are because all your friends are back in Seattle and you're here… And Dr. Hunt I'm sure you miss him but…"_

"_Owen… Oh god how did this happen..."_

"_What happened?" She looked up at him and looked directly into his eyes._

"_I'm pregnant Shane. I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby. And I'm doing it alone."_

"_Oh. Wow. I didn't realize… Well congrats then. You'll be a great mother."_

"_No. No I won't. I'm gonna be a single mother who is a surgeon and owns a research hospital. I won't be a good mother."_

"_Yes you will. And you're not alone. I'll be there for you every step of the way. I'll fill in for the dad, and I'll be there for everything. For everything you let me of course. You're not alone. We'll figure it out. And you'll make a terrific mom."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

"_You're an amazing person Shane. Thank you."_

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Cristina was leaning at the counter looking at Olivia and Owen laughing together. She smiled. Of course they'd get along. Owen was amazing with kids and seeing him with his daughter made her heart warm she couldn't believe that she had waited that long to tell him about her. Then she realized that she had been prepared to never tell him at all. A cold shiver ran down her spine. What was she thinking? Only now she realized what could've been and how she had just been afraid to even consider it. Stupid, she thought. She wasn't sure if she and Owen still had a chance together but after last night she thought things weren't completely hopeless. But how would they do it? She couldn't just move back to Seattle and she definitely couldn't ask Owen to come to Switzerland with her. But maybe there was still hope. Somewhere deep down she knew that she would now have to consider Owen's opinions too. He was her father and she was sure that he would want to be included.

We will cross that bridge when we get there, she said to herself.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I was really busy. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and LEAVE A REVIEW. **

**Xoxo, Addie**


	13. The Sign Of Three

"_Are you ready?"_

"_I'm a little worried."_

"_Why?"_

"_I'm afraid I'll screw her up. I really am. I have no idea what I'm doing. I love her, I really really do. But what if that isn't enough? What if I'll go crazy without surgery? What if I –"_

"_Okay now listen to me. You're her mom. Of course you're worried. It's normal. And maybe you'll screw her up, I mean nobody knows, but if you love her, then you'll be alright. And surgery? It's not like you're giving it up. You'll go back in a couple of weeks and you'll figure something out. You'll be fine."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_I don't. But the least you can do is to give it a shot right?"_

"_Yeah I guess."_

"_Plus I'll be leaving next week so you better learn how to deal with her on your own since you don't want to include Owen." Meredith hissed the last part. She was still mad that Cristina refused to tell Owen about Olivia. _

_Cristina stared at the tiny baby in her arms. She looked so peaceful and happy sleeping in her mother's arms. She deserved only the best. And she didn't know if she could be that. But she had to at least try. There was no choice. Olivia shifted a little and her tiny fists grabbed a curl of Cristina's hair. _

"_I can do this right?" She asked looking up at Meredith. Meredith smiled. She knew Cristina was afraid, terrified even, but she also loved her baby and Meredith knew it was just natural doubt. Especially for Cristina it was even harder. She put one hand on Cristina's shoulder. _

"_Of course you can. You're Cristina Yang. You'll be just fine."_

"_Okay. Okay. Thank you." She wiped a tear off her face and kissed Olivia on her forehead. _

"_Well then let's take you two home."_

_Cristina had decided to set up Olivia's crib in her room. She was alone after all, so what did it matter if the baby was in her room or bed. Plus she wouldn't have to get up and walk to another room every time. And, of course she didn't admit it but, she hoped that having someone else in her room wouldn't make her feel so alone. _

"_So Olivia this is our home. It's not all that big but I think it's fine for now. I want to build us a house later on when you're a little older, so you can have your own, big, room. But yeah right now this is where we live." Cristina said, showing her baby around the apartment. Meredith was standing in the doorway watching. It was really cute, Cristina walking through every room and explaining what happened in there._

"_This is the kitchen. I usually don't come here very often but now that you're here I think we'll have to spend more time in there." Meredith chuckled and Olivia started to get a little fussy._

"_Speaking of kitchen… I think someone's hungry." She pointed at Olivia. _

"_Again? I fed her like an hour ago."_

"_Well newborns need to be fed more often than grownups." Meredith grinned and Cristina made a face._

"_I know that. I'm a physician. But really? Every hour?"_

"_I had to feed Bailey every half – hour. Consider yourself lucky if it's only every hour."_

_Cristina sat down on the sofa and started to unbutton her shirt. Olivia was crying by now._

"_It's okay little girl. Mommy just needs to get ready. Give me one sec…" She said as she picked up her daughter and helped her finding her breast. Olivia was quiet immediately and looked up gratefully at her mother. _

"_See? Everything's fine. Why make all that fuss." Cristina said as she stroke her daughter's hair._

"_I told you you'd be fine." Meredith said as she sat down next to Cristina._

"_We've been here twenty minutes. I still have plenty of time left."_

"_Yeah. But you can't tell me that you aren't enjoying it. Because you are."_

"_I am. She is… perfect. And I am just… shocked."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm shocked by how much I love her." _

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"Is he in there?"

"Meredith! You scared me. I thought you had the day off?"

"I just dropped off Zola and Bailey at school and then I thought why not come here and see if you're okay. Are you?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"The day I took her home."

"Oh I remember that day. You were a complete mess until we got home." Meredith laughed.

"I know. But it's funny isn't it? That day I thought I was starting my new life and I didn't realize what was missing. I mean I did, but I ignored it. I was such a mess because I wished Owen could've seen it and that he would've been there to reassure me instead of you but at the time I just… I felt like I was completely lost."

"Well I hate to break this to you, but he could've been there. He wasn't dead or anything. He isn't dead. He is here. And he wants you back. Both of you."

"How do you know he wants us back? That he wants me back?" She asked, completely ignoring the first part of Meredith's statement.

"Come on. You had sex last night and he has always been in love with you since the day he met you."

"Just because we had sex," she lowered her voice, there was no need for the whole hospital to know that, "doesn't mean he wants me back. Our problem was never sex, quite the opposite actually."

"It's totally your choice but you should at least try again. For Olivia's sake."

"What if I don't want to? I mean I know that I can't prevent him being involved in decisions about Olivia but that doesn't mean that we have to start a relationship again." She said a little pissed. Meredith raised her eyebrows like if she was saying 'Right it's not like you've been longing for him since the minute you left.'

"Okay you're right, but hypothetically."

"You and I both know that you and Owen will always love eachother, no matter how much you hate eachother. And that was and is your problem. Just get over all that crap and be happy together."

"What happened to you? You are really bright and shiny today."

"I don't know. I've watched too many soap operas. I have a thing for happy endings." She shrugged. Cristina shook her head and smiled. She saw Owen getting up and leaving Olivia's room.

He walked over to where she was standing with a huge smile on his face and his eyes were all teary.

"Hey." She said. But instead of saying anything back he just wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered in her ear. Cristina, a little confused by his sudden act, hugged him back and whispered a 'you're welcome' back into his ear.

They stood there for a few minutes, then they finally let go of eachother. Cristina looked in his eyes. And for the first time since she had seen him again she saw joy in his ice blue eyes.

"She is amazing."

"I know."

"And she looks so much like you. And she is incredibly smart."

"I know." She smiled. He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I wish I could've been there for you. I can imagine how terrified you must have been. I'm sorry."

God this man and his moods, she thought. One minute he was sorry and the other he blamed her for everything. But she didn't want to start a fight.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I should've just included you."

"You should've. But it's too late now, so let's just be here, right now and do it right from now on."

"Okay. I'll try."

"Thank you." He said again and stared longingly into her eyes. All he wanted to do was kiss her, love her and make everything alright again. Make up for the last ten years. But he couldn't. He didn't know whether the last night meant something or if it was just their past catching up with them. So he just squeezed her hand again. She smiled.

"So now what?"

"Now, I'll go in that room and talk to our daughter and see what she thinks."

"Fine. I have to get back to work anyway." He was tempted to give her a quick kiss on the lips, just like he always used to, but caught himself in the last second and turned the almost – kiss into another hug. He had to admit it was a little awkward.

She watched him walk away and smiled. That man… And he was right, after all this time, it was still an always.

"Hey honey!"

"Hi."

"So how'd it go?"

"Great. I think. He is really great."

"I know." She said again. It was funny, those two were the people she knew best, except for Meredith of course, and yet they didn't know anything about eachother.

"Do I have to call him dad?" Olivia asked shyly.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. But I think he wouldn't mind if you did."

"It's not like I don't want to. I do. But it's just weird you know? I mean he is practically a stranger to me." Cristina felt really bad. It was her fault that her daughter called her father a stranger. It was her fault. Could she ever forgive herself for that? Probably not.

"Maybe you just need time. You just need to get to know eachother better."

"Probably yeah. But I really like him. He is funny and so different than you are. If the two of you would've raised me… I think I would be a completely different person than I am now."

"You're probably right. Owen and I… We have our differences. But that is what made us great. Once upon a time." She sighed and crawled in the bed next to her daughter.

"What happens now?" she asked taking Cristina a little aback.

"What?"

"I mean is he coming back with us or are we moving here or am I just gonna see him during the holidays or what?"

"Uh I would love to give you an answer but I kinda can't." Cristina said apologetically.

"When are we going back then? I mean we are going back right?"

"I guess we are yes. But I don't know when. This week probably."

"But you are going to figure something out right? I really want him to be a part of my life."

"And he wants to be a part of your life and he has every right to. So we'll figure something out. I promise." She said and hugged her baby girl tightly. Meredith was right. For his sake and Olivia's, she had to figure something out. And this time she better not screw it up.

**A/N: So so sorry it took this long but I'm really busy at the moment. I'll try to update as much as I can though. If you want to keep me motivated LEAVE A REVIEW! **


	14. To Change The Things I Can

"She's asleep. Finally."

"Any ideas on what you're gonna do?"

"Not really. I mean it's not like I can just come back here. Everything is there. I own a hospital and a house, I had built especially for us, my friends are there and Olivia goes to school there… I can't just pack my bags and leave the life I've been building for the past ten years..."

"I mean you could. Technically. You could. I get that you don't really want to, but let's be honest, your friends, your real friends, are here. In Seattle. I know you have the perfect job and the perfect life over there, but isn't it at least worth considering that a life here might also be amazing?"

"I have everything I need in Zurich."

"But?"

"Owen is not there. And you are not there. Both of you are here and I don't know what to do. I honestly have no idea. Do you think he'd move to Zurich with us?"

"Uh I don't know… I mean as much as your life is in Zurich, his life is here. His family, his friends, his work. And I doubt that he's ready to leave all of that behind…"

"But he might?"

"I thought you wanted him to be happy?" Meredith asked raising an eyebrow.

"I do. I do. But I want to be happy too. I know that sounds selfish but it's the only way all of this is going to work for me."

"Cristina. He knows you. He knows that you need your work to be happy. He knows and he respects it. If I may remind you, he let you go ten years ago because he thought it was the only way that could possibly make you happy."

"I know but still."

"I think you should talk to Owen. I mean it's your… whatever it is on the line."

"Wait what if he doesn't even want to move in together, wherever that might be, but only stay in touch with Livie?" She asked, a little panicked by her sudden realization.

"Like I said, you should discuss it with Owen, not me."

The doorbell rang and Cristina looked curiously towards the door. Who would visit Meredith's house that late? Or was she just so used to the European definition of late that 9pm wasn't all that late?

"That's why – "Meredith started walking towards the door and opening it, revealing a fairly attractive looking ginger standing in the doorway. He smiled his crooked smile, the one Cristina adored so much.

"I invited him." Mer finished her sentence.

"Hi." He said a little shy. She wasn't used to shyness and insecurity, especially not with Owen. He was her strong man, her superhero, her night in the shining armor. Insecurity didn't suit him. But yet, after everything he'd been through in the last decade it was understandable why he would be insecure. But still… She didn't like it.

"Hey."

"Owen, make yourself at home." Meredith said as she let him in. "So you two go talk and I'll go grab food and pick Derek up from the hospital." She announced quickly as she was already on her way out. She stopped for a second and turned around to whisper something in Cristina's ear.

"Meredith!" Cristina exclaimed. Oh how could she… Meredith just grinned and left. Owen looked at her in confusion. Cristina sighed and smiled a little.

"She just asked me to keep my knees together and not do it on her, apparently pretty expensive, sofa." Owen chuckled a little. But he knew that Meredith's concerns weren't all that unreasonable.

"Shall we sit down? Maybe the kitchen table instead of the sofa. Just in case." She grinned. They sat down vis – à – vis from eachother and waited for the other one to start the conversation. In the end it was Cristina who made the first move.

"We should talk about how we're going to handle it with Olivia. I mean it's an international, intercontinental flight so it's not like she can visit you during the weekends."

"I know. I am fully aware of how far away it is."

"Owen I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine."

"Okay."

"Have you, uhm, thought of moving back to Seattle?"

"Not really. I mean I can hardly uproot our lives and move back here where I won't even have a job."

"There are hospitals in Seattle too you know." He said a little sarcastic.

"I know. But none of them can offer me anything even remotely close to what I have in Switzerland."

"And what about me? And Meredith?"

"Well Owen this is why we're sitting here talking about it."

"What if I could get you the job as chief of cardio? I mean I'm no longer chief of surgery but I'm sure Meredith has the same interest in you coming back as I have…"

"Owen this isn't about you or Meredith pulling strings. I'm not saying I can't leave I'm saying I don't really want to. I'm living out my dreams."

"Right. Right. You're living out your dreams and everyone else has to adapt. Because god have mercy on the poor soul that thought the famous Cristina Yang would ever sacrifice anything." He said raising his voice.

"We're not going back to this again. We are not going back to this. It's ancient history. And it doesn't matter now because I do make sacrifices. Do you even know how much energy and patience and willpower it took to raise Olivia_ and _be the chief of a world famous research institute? No you don't."

"Don't you dare play the victim card again. Because you're not. I am. In this whole mess, I am the victim. I'm the guy that got run over by a truck about twenty times and is still alive. Your life… It's the thing I always wanted. And you… you have that now. And that's just… Ironic. Because you say you're living your dreams and…. And you have a kid that apparently counts as a dream too. You of all people. The one person who just wanted to work now has it all and me… The guy who just wanted a family has nothing. It's just not fair." His voice was breaking a little bit. She felt the tears in the corner of her eyes. Of course everything was terribly unfair and unbelievable and ironic because the universe has a sense of very cruel humor. She took his hand and squeezed it. She didn't know what to say. So she only held his hand.

"I'm sorry." She said after a few minutes of silence. There was no point in saying anything else right now. After a while she felt like she had to say something to make him feel better, but there was nothing really good on her mind.

"But you have a family. We are your family. Olivia and I. We're here for you. You're part of this family."

"Do you really want me to be a part of your family?"

"It's our family." She stated quietly and it was at least biologically true.

"Cristina I…"

"Shhh... It's okay. Don't say anything." She took a deep breath. "I'll think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Moving back to Seattle. I mean I could technically expand it to the United States and maybe Ross could take over the Swiss part or something… I don't know. Maybe."

"Are you serious?"

"Since you are not coming with me and we need some kind of solution… I think it's my turn to compromise. But don't expect too much because I haven't changed all that much."

Instead of saying 'Thank you' he pulled her closer and kissed her fiercely. He hoped was happy that it didn't take as much as he had thought it would to convince her to stay. With him. He ended their kiss and cupped her face into his big hands. She smiled. Maybe, only maybe, this could work.

He kept checking his watch. It was almost time. Suddenly they heard a noise from upstairs. Then they saw Olivia standing at the top of the stairs in her pajamas looking a little confused.

"Mama ich kann nicht schlafen." She said in German. It was the first time Owen heard them speaking to eachother in another language and it was fascinating. Owen had tried to learn German once, out of curiosity, but he had failed epically.

"Oh, süße, alles ist in Ordnung. Ich komme gleich zu dir ja? Ich muss nur noch kurz mit Owen etwas besprechen."

"Können wir vielleicht einen kurzen Spaziergang machen? Ich brauche ein wenig frische Luft." She asked looking over at Owen, smiling a little. Even though he had no idea what she just said he knew it was time.

"Gut aber nur kurz. Zieh dir deine Schuhe an und komm dann runter." Cristina agreed with a sigh. As she realized that Owen probably didn't understand a word she turned around.

"She wants to go for a walk because she can't sleep. You can come if you want."

"Sure." He said grinning from one ear to the other.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm just happy to spend some time with my family."

"Right…"

Olivia came down the stairs, almost fully dressed, but as Cristina looked closer she saw that she had just thrown a shirt and pants over her pjs.

"Ready?" Cristina asked her daughter, who nodded and took her hand. Surprisingly she took Owen's hand too. They were walking towards the woods. The place where the trailer used to be. Or at least she thought he used to be, so it was a surprise to see it still standing in its parking space. As they got closer she could see that something around it was glowing like… candles.

When she could finally really see it she stopped and looked at Owen and Olivia, who were both smiling so hard that their face must've hurt. Olivia let go of her parents' hands and made her way towards the veranda of the trailer. She sat down and watched her father guide her mother towards the sea of lights. Cristina was speechless. What the hell was he doing?

He stopped in the middle and turned around. She just stared at him, completely overwhelmed. They could hear Olivia giggling in the background.

"Meredith told me she did this for Derek once, so I decided I'd try it too." He stated and smiled. He was so happy. And that meant something because he hadn't been really happy in a very long time.

"I know. The house of candles. The only romantic gesture Meredith Grey has ever made." She chuckled a little when she remembered the time Meredith told her about the pretty embarrassing candle house.

"Probably true but that's not my point right now."

"Oh really?" She said chuckling a little. He took her hands.

"Cristina Yang. You are the most challenging person I have ever met. But that is what makes a life with you so exciting. Every day, you give me the feeling to be alive. And I haven't felt like this in a very long time and when I saw you again… This feeling was there again. You gave me everything back, even though you've been back for roughly four days. But still you manage it to give my life some sense again.

We have a beautiful daughter, who you raised to be extraordinary, just like you. And I want us to be a family. I need us to be a family. As you can see this is a house of candles too, but it's not just a house. It's the firehouse. Our firehouse." When he said those words she almost started crying. God, how could he do that? Sometimes he was just too perfect.

"Wait what - ?" She asked a little confused because she had sold the firehouse, believing that there were too many bad memories. But in retrospect she really regretted selling it because there were as many bad memories as there were good ones.

"I bought it back. I remodeled it, as a hobby."

"You did?" She asked touched.

"I did. So this is what I am going to ask you. And I want you to know that I am fully aware that you still have everything in Switzerland, well except for me, and that you might need to go back but still. I want you to come back. I have a room for Olivia and it's absolutely childproof, even though Olivia isn't a real child anymore. Cristina Yang, I love you and I can't imagine the day I won't. So will you come back to me and give me a family once again?"

She just stared at him. She was touched, and overwhelmed and scared and happy all at the same time. Could she really do it? Could she leave everything behind again and start fresh? The question was, did she want to? Did she want her promised forty years with Owen and their daughter? Was she ready to uproot their lives?

"Yes." It just came out of her mouth. And she knew it was the right answer to give. He sighed in relief and threw her arms around her and kissed her passionately. In the background they heard people clapping and cheering. She had no idea how many people were watching but she really didn't care. She was with Owen, the love of her life. And that was all that mattered.

**A/N: So there will probably be 2 or 3 more chapters plus an Epilogue. But don't worry I'll write a bunch of sequels, promise. Anyway no need to panic because it's not quite over yet. Hope you enjoyed it and LEAVE A REVIEW. **


	15. Plans

"You look happy."

"I am happy."

They were lying in eachother's arms, her head snuggled against his chest. It was like nothing had changed. But who were they kidding, everything had changed. She lived halfway across the world, with her daughter, and he had been through more crap than a person should be able to contain. And yet, in this very moment, it felt like everything was still the same. It was just them, in the trailer that carried so many memories.

"You know what happened the last time we've been in here?"

"That was the last time I kissed you."

"There was that and…"

"And what?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that was the night our daughter was conceived." She smiled, remembering how much she had changed since then. How much everything had changed.

"Oh. Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. This trailer it's… I don't know. It feels weird being in here again."

He looked at her, concerned and a little confused. Was she telling him that she had changed her mind and didn't want to stay with him after all?

"What?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't have some sort of freak out.

"No. It's a good weird. It brings back a lot of memories."

"It does." He grinned. He remembered the time Cristina had shown up at the front porch, completely drunk, and congratulating him on moving in with Emma. He could still see her, standing in front of him, pretending so hard to be happy for him. The hurt and sadness in her face had been way too obvious to ever be mistaken as happiness about her ex – husband moving in with his new girlfriend. When she had told him that it had never occurred to her to get window treatments, he had felt his heart breaking into a billion pieces. Of course she hadn't thought of that. She was Cristina. The way she said that, almost apologetic, showed him how badly she wanted him to be happy. If not with her, then at least with someone else.

"So… There's something I should tell you."

He was taken a little aback by her sudden change of subject.

"Okay." He said a little anxious.

"We're going back to Zurich on Thursday. They need me at the hospital and Olivia has to go back to school on Monday because she only had one week off. Plus, I don't think that – "

"It's fine Cristina. Really. I knew that you had to go back eventually. Of course I want it to be later rather than sooner but I'm okay with it. As long as you promise me to come back as soon as possible." He cut her off.

"Didn't I tell you last night, in front of a whole lot of people, that I was coming back to you?"

"You did. And there were a lot of people."

"Yeah what was up with that?"

"I don't know. I just asked Meredith to help me surprise you and suddenly everyone was there."

"Sounds like her."

"She's been an amazing friend. She really helped me through a lot."

"Remind me to thank her later."

"Okay."

They just looked into eachother's eyes, having missed the sight of the other for way too long. After a while Cristina took all her courage and asked him something she had wanted to ask since last night.

"Do you want to come with us?"

"What?"

"I was wondering," She said kissing him gently, "if you wanted to come with us to Switzerland. Just until we move. Or maybe just a week or two."

"When are you planning on moving?"

"I kind of want Olivia to finish the school year in Zurich. I mean it's about two more months and then she'll be done with elementary school and we don't have to worry about finding her a new school for two months."

"Yeah we should probably do that. Wait, it's May. Does school in Switzerland go until July?"

"It does, yes. First week of July usually. So I thought we could maybe move here in early July or something? Given that I can make all arrangements until then."

"Sounds good to me."

"Okay then."

"Okay then."

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"_Mom, what on earth are you doing?"_

"_Cooking. At least I'm trying to."_

"_Okay but why?"_

"_Because Olivia, because you are six years old and maybe had a home cooked meal twice. That's why. It's better for you than all the take – out and microwave stuff." Cristina said trying to turn the chicken breast in the pan around._

"_I don't want to be rude or anything but I think that take – out is still healthier than burned meat. But as for the microwave stuff, I agree. It's not really good."_

"_God damn it!" She shouted as she threw the pan with the almost black chicken inside it into the sink. _

"_Mom are you crying?"_

"_No. No I'm not." Cristina sniffed, trying to hide the few tears from her daughter. God, this was so silly._

"_Mom what happened?" Olivia asked stepping closer to her mother, touching her arm._

"_Nothing. Nothing. I was just… There was this open house thing at your school last night and I just…"_

"_You went there?"_

"_Of course I did! It's your school for god's sake. School is important. And so are you."_

_Olivia stepped forward and hugged her mother. She could feel that she was upset about something important and that she was trying to make right whatever she thought she had done wrong._

"_I love you Mommy." Cristina took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her daughter. _

"_I love you too honey. So much." She whispered back. _

"_Now tell me what happened?"_

"_I was just talking to Karin's mother and she said some… things. Not very nice things."_

"_What did she say?" Olivia inquired._

"_Well she basically said that I'm a bad mother." _

"_What? Why?" Olivia was confused. Why would someone call her Mommy a bad mother? She was the most amazing Mom ever. She always told her a bedtime story, okay maybe not the most traditional ones but still, and stayed with her until she fell asleep. There was always a hot meal on the table, maybe it was take – out but there was always something to eat. And she loved her. Wasn't that all that really mattered?_

"_Because…" Cristina had to calm her voice. She would never admit it but it deeply hurt her when people said that she was a bad mother. Like it wasn't hard enough already. "Because I work. And because I don't cook. Because I'm not them."_

"_They're just jealous."_

"_What?" Cristina looked at her daughter quizzically._

"_Uncle Ross told me that when people say those things, they're just jealous because you manage to have it all." She said in a serious tone. Cristina had to laugh. Her daughter was pretty adorable. And she didn't think that she was a bad mother. And that was all that mattered. She hugged her tightly again. She didn't know how she had deserved such a wonderful kid._

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"So you're really doing this?"

"I guess I am."

"Are you happy?"

Cristina smiled. Yes, she was happy. Even though the thought of leaving Zurich made her feel a little sick, she was also excited to start a life with Owen again. This time as a real family.

"Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Then I'm happy too. Because that means I'm getting my person back." Meredith grinned.

"Thank you Mer. For the house of candles."

"No need to thank me. I had a lot of fun. Although I forgot how hard it is to keep all the candles burning." They laughed.

"Still… Thank you."

"Of course." Meredith put her arm around Cristina's shoulder. They were standing in front of the big window in the living room, watching Owen and Derek playing with the kids.

"I'm doing the right thing, right?"

"What?"

"Tell me that I'm not making a mistake by moving back here."

"You're getting back together with the father of your child, the so called love of your life, how could that possibly be a mistake?" Meredith was confused. Was Cristina suddenly questioning her decision?

"I know but… Giving up my hospital, my house, my life over there… It feels like I'm giving up everything."

"I mean you can keep the house. You should keep the house. And as for the hospital, I have a little surprise for you." Meredith said with a huge grin on her face.

"What?"

"Seattle Pres. is bankrupt, they're selling the hospital. You should buy it."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. You can expand your hospital to the United States and the doctors at Seattle Pres. will keep their jobs. Most of them at least."

"I could do that."

"You should."

"Thank you."

"No worries."

They looked at their men playing football with their kids in the garden. It was an adorable scene to watch. It was funny how they both ended up here.

"Are you thinking about getting married again?" Meredith asked, trying to sound casual.

"What? No. We've been back together for like a day. Marriage is the furthest thing on my mind right now."

"Do you want another baby?"

"Meredith! Will you stop that?"

"I'm just asking because you told me once that you wondered how it would be to have two."

"That was a long time ago."

"Not that long."

"I'm too old. I mean not old, but I'm over 40 so I'm too old to have another kid."

"You sure?"

"Meredith. I have a wonderful daughter and I'm getting back together with her dad after ten years so excuse me if I'm happy with that for now."

"I was just asking."

"Right. Why don't you have another one?"

"Because I have a hostile uterus and I am Chief of surgery in a very prestigious hospital."

"You had Bailey so your uterus can't be that hostile."

"It is. Sadly. But I am blessed with my two amazing children so I have nothing to complain about."

"No you don't."

"We did good Cristina. We did well."

"I guess we did yeah. It's funny…"

"What?"

"How life has its own way of working out."

"That is true."

**A/N: So I've decided to post the epilogue tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	16. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

"Didn't I tell you that you'd have to pry that scalpel out of my cold dead hands in 40 years?"

"It's not the time to make jokes honey."

"Come on. You and I both knew that this day would come eventually. It was inevitable."

"I know but still… I don't know if I can do it."

"You got even more than 40 years. See it that way."

"But I don't know if I can, or want, to live one single day without you. How am I supposed to fall asleep in this bed, our bed, without you lying next to me? Who am I supposed to clean up after? Who am I supposed to cook for? I can't imagine doing it for anyone but you."

"You have the kids. You'll have eachother. And I'll be fine." She looked into his teary eyes and felt her stomach dropping to the floor. She felt horrible for doing this to him. Terrible. But how was she supposed to keep herself from dying? Sooner or later it would happen anyway. And if he died first… She couldn't imagine living only one second without him. She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. They sat there with their foreheads touching for a while.

"Just one thing."

"What?"

"No hospitals."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that." She smirked, fully aware of the irony in her previous sentence. "And same goes for me. Nothing that isn't absolutely necessary."

"Owen I don't think that…"

"I'm just saying… Whoever will be in this situation… I just thought I'd tell you."

"Okay."

"I love you Cristina Yang. Always have, always will."

"And I love you. Now come to bed and hold me so that I can fall asleep."

He lay down next to her and wrapped his muscular arms around her tiny body. She was still beautiful and even three children couldn't manage ruin her slim body. She curled into his chest, like she always did. His scent was the only thing that could make her feel like she was totally save. He kissed the top of her forehead.

"Thank you." He whispered, "Thank you for giving me this amazing family."

"You are more than welcome. But actually I should thank you for making me realize that I could in fact have everything."

"I love you more that I could ever tell you."

"Same to you Hunt."

And then they both fell asleep.

_You never know the last day of your life is going to be the last. They say that you get that feeling, that feeling of death right before you die. But you only get that when you're alone. Not when you're falling asleep in the arms of the person you love. You don't realize that it was your last conversation, the last 'I love you' because you think you have forever. But you don't._

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"What do you mean at the same time?"

"Sometimes those things happen. You're lying next to the person you love, the one you spent your life with and you subconsciously, because they were asleep, feel their heart stop beating. Then your heart stops beating too, because it doesn't want to live without the other person. We don't know why, or how, but it does happen. "

"So you're saying…"

"I'm very sorry for your loss Dr. Yang."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around.

"They're here."

"I'll be right outside." She said, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to tell her family.

"So what happened?" The young man asked.

"They're dead." Her voice was cracking.

"They? Both? Wait what? I thought just…"

"They found them this morning and…"

"So you're saying…"

"They fell asleep. Together."

"So you're telling me that they literally died in eachother's arms."

"Just like they always wanted."

"Yeah. I guess their wish came true."

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"My mother told me once that she never imagined herself being in a place like that. When she said that, she was holding my son for the first time. Her grandchild. She said that she had never thought that it was possible to love someone this much. And she wasn't just referring to our beautiful boy, Owen Shepherd, but to all of us. Her friends, her family, her work. And I, for my part, am glad she changed her mind. That she gave me a family. My brother Theo and my sister Amelia. My husband Bailey and our kids. Also my nephews and nieces. We are all here because of her, because of them. Because their love was stronger than them. Some people say that they were 'meant to be'. I would say something more like 'against all odds'. Because that is how they were. So different, but yet perfect for eachother. They were always strong for us. Because they loved us, and they loved eachother even more.

He told me that, three months or so after they had met, he knew he wanted to be around 40 years from then. Brave as he was, he told her that. And he said that when he saw the look on her face, he knew that she wanted the same thing. Well I am glad to say that they didn't only get their 40 years, but got 51. And they died as they lived. Together. Mom, Dad. I miss you so much. I hope you're in a better place. You will never be forgotten. Take care now." Olivia said finishing her eulogy with tears in her eyes.

**A/N: So this is it. I hope you liked it and I promise there'll be sequels soon! Please leave on final REVIEW. Thanks for sticking with this story. xoxo**


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